Craigslist Immigration

Jerk of the Day—The Polls Are Open!

Posted by Joe Dempsey on Aug. 2, 2007, at 2:12 pm

City Desk: We report, you decide!

We have a three-way tie in today's installment of this occasional feature.

Below are three recent posts to Craigslist's* "rants & raves" section. We need your help to decide who's today's biggest jerk. Polls are open until 5 p.m., so cast your vote via the comments section and stay tuned for the results.

Candidate No. 1: "having some fun with day laborers"

There is a Dunkin Donuts at the corner of Viers Mill and Randolph Rd. in Montgomery County and the freakin hispanics have over run the place. Me and one of my friends decided to play a little game with them. We pulled into the parking lot with his Ford F250 Crew Cab and they swarmed us. We told them that we needed help digging the around the foundation of a house, I think all they understood was "dig", we agreed to $13 and hour and 4 of them got in the back. They smelled bad, well at least one of them did, so we drove over to River Rd. into one of those neighborhoods with the huge houses and large lots. We pulled up to a house, we all got out and we acted like we were calling someone on the cell phone. We told them to sit down in the shade and we would be right back. I don't think it will be long before the cops show up. Muhahahahahahaha!!!

Candidate No. 2: "Day Laborers- Awesome!"

That's funny shit. Take the naysayers shit with a grain of salt. They're the ones who one time will say "they're trying to make a living" but out of the other side of their mouth complain that the wetbacks are taking American jobs.

One time my friend and I picked up 13 of those spics, and put them in a pickup truck. We started driving like assholes, taking turns too hard, speed-stopping, hitting speed bumps at 50mph. We gave the last one left in the truck who didn't fall out or bail because he was scared $100 for playing.

And finally, Candidate No. 3: "Re: Day Laborers"

Awesome post!

Fuck these illegals, I say. Me and my boys sometimes just beat up a couple, just for shits and giggles.

I can recommend them as great stress-bags. They NEVER go to the cops.

* To be fair, these comments are not representative of all Craigslisters. "At least they're out ATTEMPTING to earn a buck instead of riding around in Daddy's pick up truck all day long," observes one.

Comments

Jamie August 2nd, 2007
2:49 pm

#1

These guys are no different than a bunch of pathetic LNSers. It's all BS. I'd bet anyone a case of beer that Candidate #1 looks like the comic book guy and hasn't left his house in a month; Candidate #2 is, in fact, half hispanic himself because his mother screwed the cook at the Sizzler, but he actually does own a pickup truck but it doesn't run; and candidate #3 is a 16 year old closet homosexual.

So, given that these blowhards aren't actually jerks, but just pathetic self-haters who live vicariously through the internet, we need some new nominees. I nominate Jonathan Rees.
scott August 2nd, 2007
3:04 pm

#2

total bs. these are dorky fairfax kids or twerpy guys in debt to the bosley clinic and leasing a lexus convertible. if anyone ever pushed them they'd fall the fuck back immediately. luckily they're too scared to go anywhere in the district east of 18th street so i rarely see them.
Mark August 2nd, 2007
5:18 pm

#3

I say Craigslist should turn what data they have on these posts over to the cops. Every one of them is essentially a felony confession.
Confused August 3rd, 2007
9:47 am

#4

What's the felony in the first one?

All three of them are clearly small-minded twits, but the first one's douchebaggery doesn't seem to approach the level of criminal offense.

This sounds like a bunch of high school virgins sitting around bragging about the notches in their bedposts to me. Lots of bravado and swagger, but they're really just dorks with nothing better to do than sit around and talk tough.
Mark August 4th, 2007
9:28 am

#5

I'd argue the first is an example of kidnapping.