I Hate Seepage
The cockroaches I could stand. The mice too. But in the last couple of weeks, a new type of vermin has invaded my third-floor apartment: the smoker downstairs.
I'm not the kind of reformed smoker who's absurdly sensitive to a whiff of tobacco smoke. Truth be told, I'm the kind of reformed smoker who's often tempted to bum a Marlboro, especially after a few beers.
But the atmosphere in my apartment has become noxious. When the multiple-pack-a-day man downstairs lights up, the fog wafts up through chinks in the floors and fills my space. When I open a closet, I'm hit with a blast. I wake up in the morning with a sore throat and a burning nose as if I spent the evening in bar and went to bed in a North Carolina trailer park.
In the lingo of anti-smoking zealots, smoke flow from dwelling to dwelling is called "seepage" and for now, it seems, there's nothing a renter can do about it, aside from buying an air filter and waiting for their chain-smoking neighbor to die from emphysema.
3:42 pm
Out of curiosity, what kind of building allows smoke to permeate through the ceilings from below? That is, doesn't the apartment below you have such features as plaster or drywall between you and the chinks in your floor? I am not belittling your situation - but it seems odd that someone smoking below you would result in so much smoke entering apartment. Usually, it is shared ventilation that causes this problem. But I'm guessing you have radiant heat like most old buildings.
But anyway, this seems like a serious quality of life problem, worthy of a call to your landlord, followed by a conversation with the neighbor, and finally, when neither of those works, with the purchase of a large subwoofer.
6:14 pm
Good questions. The apartment does have drywall and all that. Has it's own gas heat (retrofit). I can't exactly see through the chinks in the floor into his bedroom. It's just my guess that that is where the smoke is coming from.
On a hight note, I do have a set of Klipsch KG4 speakers hooked up to a vintage Marantz receiver. I'm thinking Jethro Tull's " Locomotive Breath" set on repeat at 4 a.m. What song do you recommmend?
Joe
9:17 pm
Why not hit him first with LAYLA and then 30 minutes later a double dose of DANI CALIFORNIA. That should give him something to stay up over.
11:08 am
Primero, accept my sympathy with your predicament, Joe
By way of a solution, you may want to strike friendship with the smoking offender. Offer a six-pack, invite to the ball game, discuss current events - all in a neighborly fashion . As soon as you ingratiate yourself enough, gently persuade the new friend to take it to the balcony, the roof-deck, the sidewal or quit the ruinous habit altogether.
Alternatively, you can try violence. Threaten to hurt the smoker as to cause irreparable damage to his smoking as well as breathing techniques.
I recommend you try the friendly option first, however.
11:39 am
Ernest, you are wise beyond belief.
11:46 am
It's a pity the whole world isn't like him.
1:25 pm
Naturally, the friendly solution is worth a shot. But it rarely seems to work. Consider the benefits of starting a vendetta:
* nearly unlimited blog fodder
* an opportunity to dig through your record collection in search of the most annoying songs you can think of (examples: "Axel F," "Blister In The Sun," "Breaking The Law" (or any Judas Priest for that matter) - and your first instinct - an excellent one - shows that you're well equipped for this
* get to live with that "cloak and dagger" mindset, always wondering what's might be coming next, and dreaming up new ways to retaliate
Clearly, the vendetta has a lot more to offer than the peaceful "solution."