City Desk

Welcome to the Neighborhood!

Last week, I was squatting with a friend who had just moved into a town house on Harvard Street NW when he got a special “welcome to the neighborhood” surprise. One evening, he stepped out for a late-night caffeine and nicotine run at the 7-Eleven on 14th Street and Columbia Road NW—and came back soaked in his own blood.

Apparently, after getting the coke and the Camels, a group of preteen girls down the block asked him for a buck. When he apologized and kept walking, they palmed a bottle from the street and rocketed it straight to the back of his head.

But as if a nasty head wound, a freshly crimson T-shirt, and the embarrassment of being roughed up by a bunch of girls wasn’t enough excitement for one night, my friend then got what was really coming to him: EMT sass.

As it turns out, a triple shooting had occurred a few blocks away around the same time. So when the ambulance came to send my friend out for a quick head-staple, the EMTs weren’t too happy to be dealing with such a low-level injury.

As my friend described it, they “treated me like they were pissed I didn’t get shot.”

Now, at least, my friend is starting to get a feel for his new neighborhood. The very next day, walking down Harvard, the bottle-chucking girls yelled out at him for a cigarette. He shook his stapled head and kept on walking.

9 Responses to “Welcome to the Neighborhood!”

  1. Scott Says:

    so what’s your point?

  2. Joe Says:

    I’m think the point is that many kids who live in Columbia Heights are fucking assholes.

  3. Scott Says:

    fair enough. i grew up in mount pleasant. the kids were dicks there, too. i live in harlem now. the kids here are assholes. some things never change.

  4. IMGoph Says:

    if all works out well, they’ll be victims of gun violence in the near future anyways.

  5. MdSade Says:

    Should have tried to pick them up. They’d be EWWW or he’d really have something to tell.

  6. Constantine Says:

    fair enough. i grew up in mount pleasant. the kids were dicks there, too. i live in harlem now. the kids here are a–holes. some things never change.

    That was true where I grew up and have lived since then, as well, but none of them ever broke a bottle over my head.

  7. HeyHo! Says:

    Oh noes!

    Is the dcist blog offline?

  8. Invisible Sun Says:

    Why did he not press charges against those girls?? The violent act they committed is called ‘assault’. Something tells me this is not the first time in which they were violent, and their next victim may not be as ‘lucky’ as escaping with merely a major head injury.

  9. Scott Says:

    interestingly enough, i noticed that some of the kids here became very friendly once i started saying hello to them and not just quickly walking by with my head down and my whole foods shopping bag. just a thought.

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