Catcall Management Strategies?
Joe Eaton recorded a remarkable account of the motives behind street harassment. One question I wish he had explored, though, is how to dismiss a harasser. Some women play along, some get angry, and some pay no attention, but what works best?
The most impressive dismissals I've seen were back in college. The storefronts across from the University of Texas were usually crowded with unemployed men, while the sidewalk was full of young female students. Drooling attention was dispensed by the bucket; most women just seemed to take it. But I dated one girl who didn't. Every time some ne'er-do-well pulled the kissy face, the catcall, or the whistle on her, she would shout, "Get a sex life!" Though she didn't cow them, she was loud enough to stun them.
Is yelling back the best way? How do you fend off the creeps?
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4:13 pm
I usually say "Take a shower, you smell nasty," or something equally charming.
5:40 pm
I usually say, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand Ebonics."
8:47 pm
I'm sure that response not only mystifies the Anglo/Latino/Asian catcallers, but makes any African-American whistlers realize they should direct their catcalls toward a less racist piece of ass in the future.
Having been catcalled by a racial rainbow of cruisin' horndoggin' dudes --many of them white -- the assumption behind this response gives me a massive case of the ickies.
10:26 am
What do you think, Ernest?
11:12 am
Well, I think it a load of bunk. Managing catcalls? Whatever for?
Let us face it: a non-sarcastic catcall is essentially a compliment. No doubt, one might object to the primitive form but what all the fuss is really all about (mark that 'really', ladies) is the simple fact the said compliment originates from a not-your-type-have-not on the street rather than an suitable sort, preferably the one in position to advance your career or enhance financial situation. What hypocrisy.
11:23 am
By the way, nice outfit, Bob. Did you get it from Paris?
Oh, and you girls out there who still wear evening dresses with jeans, this fashion is already finished.
12:39 pm
ernest, you're full of shit. this is so clueless and misoginist i don't know where to begin.
12:44 pm
Well, don't begin then.
1:01 pm
Oooooowee, Ernest! Look at that ass! I'd like to take that home and lick it. I got something for you, Ernest. You look like you need a big one. You got a keg in your pants, Ernest? Cause I'd like to tap that ass. You got your mama's sexy ass! Come on over here and get into my car. I got a big paycheck and a big dick for you and you can have all of both, Ernest baby! You got a boyfriend? You got a man? Can he give you what I'd give you? I make a lot of money. Can he give you eight inches? Can he give you diamonds to match the sparkle in your eyes? Can he take you to a day-spa like I will? You have the sweetest tits I've seen all month.
What's the problem? I'm giving you a compliment, you stuck up bitch.
3:32 pm
Ernest, maybe the women you know are all money-hungry ho-bags who'd drop trou if The Donald whistled at them, but my reactions to catcalls have nothing to do with the earning potential of the guy. I've been catcalled by men in Jags; if anything, I find them more obnoxious.
While I tend to agree that most catcalling is fairly harmless, it can feel threatening in certain contexts. There's often more than a compliment going on, and if you walked around with large breasts (or small breasts, or any recognizably female form for that matter) for a week, you would recognize that. Try dealing with whistles from a slow-rolling car pulling up beside you after dark, or a burly stranger telling you he's got "something you can milk." At the very least, catcalling – even the most benign sort – reminds women to practice situational awareness all the time, when we should be able to just relax and exist.
Frankly, given the other abuses going on in the world, I don't regard catcalls/whistles as that big a deal, or even as a gateway to worse behavior towards women. But I should be able to walk down the street without being offered a “nice big one.” I don't care if the man attached to the proposed “nice big one” is wearing an Armani tux, a stained clown suit, or last week's trash bag, the mention of his big one is not complimentary in any way.
3:46 pm
A catcall isn't intended to be a compliment; it's another reminder that I am on display and I am pretty scenery for the gentlemen in question. It is a way for him to make sure I know my place.
4:28 pm
Oh come come, Emily, look at the bright side.
I agree with everything you said, Carrie.
Anti, you sound hysterical. Take a valium or something.
And another thing, urban life is not just yuppies, Starbucks, Dupont Circle, Black Cat, the Gallery of Arts and poetry readings. Nor it should be. This city’s culture has many levels. Why not take a walk around the block while trying to explain it to yourself? Unable to accept the diversity? Go to Virginia, you whiny bitch.
4:41 pm
Now, even if the intruder’s language is as grotesque (which is typically not the case) as laboriously presented by Anti, here’s what a girl to do:
The unattached ones should a) evaluate the catcaller’s visual appearance and, should he meet her criteria for the Man of her Dreams, ask for the current bank statement, three references and the credit report. Should these satisfy as well, the next step would be to b) patiently explain that she’s a respectable girl who needs the time to get to know. On hearing this the catcaller should immediately ask for a date. There’s nothing wrong per se with diamonds, day-spa or, correct me if I’m wrong, girls, the eight inches for that matter, is it?
The attached women looking for a change, should revert to step a).
In all other cases, she should simply say NO. No need for racially charged putdowns. There you have it.
1:47 am
That Ebonics comment was uncalled for.
Ernest, you just don't get it. And if Anti should take a Valium, you catcallers should chase down 5 with some Grey Goose.
1:48 am
I'm commenter 14, my name isn't Carrie I meant to direct that comment towards her. Sorry for the mixup folks.
10:35 am
There goes Ernest again, wandering off into the Happy Happy Forest of Wackjob Non-sequiturs. "Urban life is not just yuppies, Starbucks, Dupont Circle, Black Cat, the Gallery of Arts and poetry readings"?? Who the hell mentioned any of that, you turd smear? And why would I go to Virginia when your mama and I are so happy together right where we are?
1:00 pm
Lame comment as per usual, Anti - exactly what everyone expects of you. That's because you're as thick as pigshit.
Besides, you seem to be a motherfucker. But why not keep it to yourself though?
1:16 pm
Apparenrtly, it's one of Anti's best qualities.
Really, Anti, if this is your idea of self-promotion you have another thing coming.
2:30 pm
Isn’t it unfair to judge if we don't know that person’s circumstances?
2:41 pm
You caught me, self-promotion is my goal. Hence the use of my real name (I'm actually Anti-Ernest III; it's a name with a long family history) and the link encouraging people to check out my pictorial blog about my ongoing relationship with Ernest's alcoholic mother.
Why should I police my assault on things Ernestly Idiotic when every pointless fecal nugget that forms in Ernest's brain comes tumbling out onto this blog? Trust me, every time he spares readers a poopy-corn niblet from the festering dung-heap that runs his central nervous system, you'll hear nary a peep from me.
2:56 pm
That person’s circumstances? Are you suggesting Anti-Ernest sucks dicks as well?
2:58 pm
I was suggesting nothing of the sort.
2:59 pm
Then what were you suggesting?
3:00 pm
Leave off. This is tiresome.
5:14 pm
May I suggest Anti is a poodle-poker?
5:22 pm
You certainly may, Beaky.
He certainly is.
5:32 pm
Anti is a veritable paragon of virtue. Apart from that, Beaky, you can always come to him if you ever have pustule questions.
5:35 pm
Why, you... blinkin' toerag..
5:40 pm
Break it off, you two! This is piffling. I try to elevate the tone of this discussion, and you bring it crashing back down into the dregs.
Anti needs help.
2:57 pm
Ernest, you're an asshole. You say of lot of ignorant nonsense and then top it off with your oh-so P.C. whine about diversity in the city.
Go stroll down a bad part of town by yourself. You can screech "but I like diversity!" while they kick your ass.
3:46 pm
"They"? And what will you do about it, Nicky? Shoot them? Get a lynch mob? “They” are a part of urban culture, whether you like it or not. Deal with it or move to Bethesda.
To sum it up: Don't stroll down bad parts of town, Nicolas, that's all.
5:27 pm
What will I do, Mr. Oh-so-P.C. Earnest, you asshole? I'll read about your sorry ass in a Metro crime brief and smile.
Pal, you've got white boy-trying-too-hard-to-be-down-with the black folk written all over your clueless ass. You'll be fat and settled in the 'burbs before you know what hit you.
Last time, kid: catcalling is done by assholes.
5:52 pm
Look here, Nicola, let's postpone the matter. You're obviously not very smart and I'm out of time. Why don’t you piss off for now.
11:47 am
I was catcalled the other day. "Nice ass," they said. I ran away.