Just What We Need: More Panda Crap
OK, I admit it. The Posties and their incessant coverage of Tai Shan fascinated me. While a freelancer, I went to the zoo just about every day to check on the hysteria. I took my camera. The gift store has been consistently rich feeding grounds. I mean, do people really buy this wacky shit? A “When You’re a Jet” satin panda jacket??
Both the fever and sales of panda crap died down, of course, as Butterstick the Cute became Dirty Butt the Toddler, still entertaining at times. (Recently I caught him nearly falling out of a tree. This was hilarity itself.)
But now, ta-da, the Post is back, everybody, to drum up panda pride. Only the gift store could be more excited…
3 Responses to “Just What We Need: More Panda Crap”
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June 8th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Jule,
You have no heart. Don’t know where you get your daily dose of wildlife and cuteness, but the pandas are great sources of those. Just ignore us pandaphiles and those who stoke our interests, and we’ll be more than happy to ignore you. Deal?
A panda fan from way back.
June 8th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Come on, it’s not like she blogged about how to cook and eat the Butterstick. I’m sure he’d have great fat marbling.
Pandas are cute. Pandas are cuddly. Therefore, everyone should go to the zoo and buy panda posters and towels and jackets and toothbrushes and action figures (”with lifelike bamboo-crapping action!” TM). Cause as long as the pandas are in our zoo, they need to learn the rules of the free market. Forget the fact that these pandas are basically slave labor rented to us by the Chinese (”Their environmental and human rights record is abysm — oh, look at his widdle bitty butt! Oh who’s a panda wanda? Who? Who do we get to keep till 2009 so we feel good about the Chinese through the Beijing Olympiad? Is it you, widdums?”)
Meanwhile, Mei Xiang, who stupidly grew larger and thus is no longer as coo-worthy, sits in an tiny enclosed pen while naked apes try to impregnate her with a turkey baster and her entourage speculates about the contents of her womb as though the pinkie inside were the heir to J. Howard Marshall.
Sure, all of this is for the good of the species, and the zoo — which hasn’t killed any animals in a little while now; yay Zoo! — is doing a panda conservation project, which one can only hope this panda schlock funds. But while these zoo projects may be good for the species as a whole, they’re crappy for the individual critters kept in tight spaces to drum up money and interest from the public. If Mei had a blog, I suspect it would probably chronicle her ongoing depression (”Suicide by cop … I could do it … maybe if I mauled a kid?”)
June 8th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
How about official DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities Pandamania Panda posters, T-shirts, hats, totebags, Pandamania lapel pins, and coffee mugs? Your government dollars at work at
http://www.touristart.com/Pandamania.htm