The French Are Not Like Us

For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure, the Eurovision Song Contest is one of the strangest broadcasts on Earth. Every year, through various methods, each country in Europe (a generous distinction, as Israel often competes) chooses a song to represent it. These 42 songs are then whittled down to 28 semi-finalists, then 10 finalists (a change from years past, when all 28 competed on one night), who then perform their songs live, after which Europeans vote for the winning tune.

The contest has produced some of pop music’s greatest moments, such as Abba’s “Waterloo” (1974) and many of its oddest, such as Guildo Horn’s “Guildo Hat Euch Lieb” in 1998, which saw the bald German singer playing a particularly memorable cowbell solo and touching many audience members’ heads. That year an Israeli transexual won.

This year France has a particularly special entry, the kind of thing that makes me proud of my heritage. I hope you like it as much as I do.