Arts Desk

Sausage-Making, Friday Edition: How Theater Reviews Get Assigned at Washington City Paper

Hello_Dolly

CP’s theater critics generally agree among themselves on who covers what. Here, in a not entirely atypical e-mail trail, is more or less how each week's assignments get done.


Glen Weldon:
Which one of youse is gonna get Lost in Yonkers this Sunday? I'm not feeling like pulling another all-nighter this weekend. Plus, Simon makes my pancreas hurt.

Bob Mondello: I reviewed it way back when. No great desire to write it up again if someone wants it.

Trey Graham: I can probably do it.

Andrew Beaujon (editor): I will cut any "Hello, Dolly" jokes. Just keep that in mind.

BM: [after long pause] I got the Yonkers/Dolly joke even if no one else did. And I loooooove that the only straight guy in this email circle is the one who made it.

AB:
It's in Wall-E! FTW STRAIGHT GUY!

TG: Hello. I was in "Hello Dolly" in high school. I chose not to dignify the slander with a response.

BM:
Ahhhhhh….I see. You played Barnaby Tucker, I presume.

TG: Ernestina Money.

BM: Awwwwww. With or without ribbons down your back?

GW: Jeez, that went to crazytown awful quick. Guess it only. Takes a moment.

BM: Think this conversation is blog-worthy?.

AB: Someone put it in a text file. I'll post.

GW: Yeah; and while you're at it, AB, why not share some of that sweet, sweet CP cyberlove by RTing my twitterpimp? You do it for Tricia. You always liked her best! [DOOR SLAM]

BM: I’m sorry…are we still speaking English?

GW: Sorry, Bob. You gotta get hep to the jive: Cyberlove = electronic well-wishes; RT = Retroactive transgendering; twitterpimp = one who procures/sexually exploits parakeets. Hope that clears things up.

BM: Ah…now I see. So, to recap: Trey’s got Yonkers.

GW: Okay, and when the Neil Simon fans among the CP readership — both of them — write in demanding my pancreas for their sweetbread stuffing, I'll know where to send 'em.

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  • Neil Simon

    You know, this was pretty pointless, but I'd love to see more of this stuff.

    It's "Around Town" on E! Well done.

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