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*In preparation for the forthcoming Academy Awards, Total Film posts the top twenty best and worst Oscar speeches over the years. Among the best? Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's surprise win for Best Original Screenplay, Holocaust survivor Gerda Weissmann Klein's win for Best Documentary Short Subject, and Kate Winslet's "daddy's girl" speech for Best Actress. The worst are made up of the more trite and overly dramatic speeches, including Marlon Brando's American Indian replacement, James Cameron's "I'm the king of the world" shout-out, and Halle Berry and Gwyneth Paltrow's weepy spiels.

*Charlie Sheen enters rehab for undisclosed "preventative measures" and announces he is officially taking a break from Two and a Half Men two months after he was accused of assaulting his wife. Whether he is in rehab for drugs, alcohol, domestic abuse, or letting his shitty CBS sitcom last seven seasons remains to be seen.

*Salman Rushdie announces plans to write a novel about his decade of hiding in England. Rushdie was forced into hiding after the Iranian government sent out an execution order for Muslims to kill the author of The Satanic Verses.

*Role reversal time! Former professional wrestler Ric Flair's wife is arrested for domestic violence against the multiple-WWE world heavyweight champion.

*The New York Post reports that Johnny Depp is set to appear on Sunday's episode of 48 Hours Mystery on CBS in support of the West Memphis Three. Depp, along with fellow celebrity supporters like Winona Ryder and Eddie Vedder, think that the three men accused of killing three 8-year-olds in 1994 were unfairly accused and convicted simply because they liked metal music and authors like Stephen King.

*Bristol Palin announces she is going to play herself on an upcoming episode of ABC Family's teen pregnancy drama The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

*Tonight in City Lights: Washington Ballet's The Great Gatsby at the Kennedy Center.

Photo by Mikio Ariga, via MySpace.

Watch below to see what happens when a couple of scalawags get their hands on a megaphone. Oh, the impertinence!