No, you won’t see us at comics conventions dressed up as Thor. And we didn’t find Fanboys—that slight 2008 comedy in which a quintet of Star Wars geeks breaks into George Lucas’ ranch—the slightest bit adorable.

When we call ourselves fans, it’s because we love this stuff. Reviewing the District’s theater, music, art, dance, and film offerings is how we channel it. Otherwise, we wouldn’t take it so seriously.

For this issue, our inaugural Spring Arts Guide, we decided to tear up the usual script and devote some serious words not to artists but to some of our fellow fans. Inside, you’ll find four looks at individuals who’ve become deeply involved in local arts scenes, even though they’re not in the business of making art: a punk booker, Pat Walsh; a blogger, Metal Chris; an art collector, Veronica Jackson; and Cheles Rhyes, the dance scene's a jack-of-all-trades.

Fear not: We’ve also assembled some recommendations for your springtime cultural consumption—via insanely thorough listings and our recommendations of the best rock, classical and opera, books, film, hip-hop, jazz, dance, and theater. We hope you’re a fan.

Bonus! There's a proper arts section, too. Rebecca J. Ritzel reviews Necessary Sacrifices at Ford's Theatre and Josephine Tonight at MetroStage. Bob Mondello reviews  The Kinsey Sicks' Electile Dysfunction at Theater J. Chris Klimek reviews Blood Wedding at Constellation Theatre. Tricia Olszewski reviews Oscar-nominated short films. Marcus J. Moore reviews P.U.S.S.Y., the newest album of instrumental hip-hop from Judah. And in One Track Mind, Joe Warminsky chats with sunshiny genre-bending duo ACME.

Released today, Judah's new album, P.U.S.S.Y. (Please Understand She Saved You), continues the story of Amber, except the mood isn't quite so romantic. Instead, the album is mostly sullen and unorthodox, complete with random vocal samples (weed-smoking chicks, the guy from the All-State insurance commercials, a clip from Spike Lee's equally weird She Hate Me). All told, P.U.S.S.Y. won't knock you out upon first listen. But it grows more intriguing with each playback. Also, the cover art is pretty NSFW.

P.U.S.S.Y. is for sale on iTunes. You can find my review later this week online and in Washington City Paper's print edition. Here's the trailer for the album:

The MC wears a three-piece, the producer wears a two-piece.

D.C. legend Black Indian told us this summer that his Judah-produced comeback I Tried to Tell You would sound grown-up but not totally old-ass, and he was right. The 14-track mixtape is a cohesive, professional statement from a dude who decided emphatically not to let his legacy wither. He generally sticks to three themes: 1) Black Indian still should not be fucked with ("I'm Back," "I'm A Vet," "On My Shit"). 2) Things are nastier than ever out there, so keep your guard up ("Amen," "Cocaine," "N.W.O."). 3) A man's tastes and perspectives must evolve ("She Compliments Me," "Suited Up," "Dedicate"). Overall, Judah's production tilts toward the classy and the jazzy, but the songs in category No. 1 do tend to have a synth-heavy, modern-day DMV disposition—and Black's big-boned flow doesn't sound out of place. And, believe it or not, the history-lesson skits are essential. (Fat Rodney, R.I.P., gets his shout-outs.)

Get the music here (via Hulkshare).

Black Indian, all suited up for his appearance in "Bridging The Gap."

He was one of the few 1990s D.C. rappers to get national exposure and a major-label deal, but Black Indian has been relatively quiet in recent years. That trend will reverse itself in September, when he releases I Tried To Tell You, a new mixtape produced by Judah, best known for working with Wale and Tabi Bonney.

Black (aka Joshua Paul) and Judah connected at the November 2009 "DMV Day" photo shoot featuring local hip-hop artists in front of the Lincoln Theatre, and they've been making tracks since then. (The shoot was featured in a short documentary, Bridging The Gap, that Judah released.) Black also says Judah has been helping him adjust to the realities of modern-day hip-hop.

“I don’t really party. I don’t go out and kick it too much. I mean, that’s not my style no more," Black says. "So, y’know, he was having me come out, to the night life, [and see] how everything changed. Everything had changed. So workin’ with him kinda brought me to where we at right now.”

After building his profile as a teenager in the group Opus Akoben (with Kokayi and Sub Z), Black had a rush of exposure with 2000's Get 'Em Psyched!! (on MCA) and then slid through the '00s, releasing two lower-profile projects, ditching his long hair and drug habits, and attending ministry school. (That story earned its own chapter in the book Diamonds In The Raw by Sidney "DCSuperSid" Thomas.) Black says he's kept his ears open all along, but he was mostly hearing "a lot of wack stuff."

“I mean, what I’ve been hearing, people been sending me beats, I got trash bags full of tracks. It’s really sad," Black says. "There’s a lot of dudes who think they’re doin’ something, but it’s like, they don’t have that love and that passion. It’s not in their music. And I wanted somebody that had that same passion. [Judah] has passion ... he’s real anal [about his production] but I love it, because that’s how you had to be back in the day. You couldn’t just go in there and throw something down.”

Black says he calls Judah "The Cool Puppy" because of his combination of youthful energy and respect for hip-hop's past. Likewise, Judah says he's excited to introduce Black to audiences that might not have any clue about his prominence as a D.C. rapper. "I just want the young'ins to actually see a different side of music," Judah says.

The overall goal, Black says, was to make something that reflects his history without being too retrograde ("I can’t come out with like 15 chains on—that’s corny right now") or too deliberately trendy. They decided that the lyrical content had to be honest to Black's experiences and current lifestyle.

"We rap about everything. That’s why I got a lot of love for Judah. He was like, ‘Rap about everything.’ Because I don’t think nothin’ is off the table," Black says. "We have songs where we talk about about soldiers, how they come home messed up. We have a song called ‘Life Is An Impression,’ where we talk about single mothers, but not like saying, ‘She’s a whore,’ or not on a pop level, but on a real level, like the good side of a single mother that might be stuck with four or five kids. We talk about coexisting religions, we talk about the dope game, the nasty side of hustlin’, the repercussions and things that can happen when you’re out there perpetratin’."

And the beats aren't throwbacks, but they're still intended to be substantive, Black says.

“A lot of dudes aren’t givin’ you nothin’ to listen to. They’re givin’ something to bob your head to, or club music, I call it, but they not givin’ you nothin’ get in the car and ride off of. What are we ridin’ off of? Nobody’s ridin’ and listenin’ to MCs," he says. "And I don’t want to be one of those cats like, “Oh, I gotta take it back to Nas, or take it back to this guy.’ You should be able to do it on what’s hot now. Why can’t you spit regular on a Lex Luger beat and still matter?"

For now, at least one other person has heard the bulk of Black's comeback.

"I spit all the time, it’s like I can’t run away from spittin’," he says. "My wife thinks I’m probably crazy."

Since then, Judah's creative vision has taken him to unusual places, from a comedic, 12-song EP based on Eastdown and Down (his favorite television series) to a blistering musical critique of U.S. foreign policy. Along the way, the Northeast D.C. native has remained steady in his artistic approach, never straying too far away from his gritty hip-hop roots.

Yesterday, Judah released Still Running, an N.W.A.-themed EP on which he created his own beats from the samples the group used to craft 100 Miles and Runnin', blending his own production with Wale's verses from the 2007 mixtape. Here, Judah trades his formerly subdued sound for horn-heavy percussion. If "Daytona Squared" was jazzy and laid-back, "Daytona to the 3rd" is energetic and downright funky. "Please Don't Stop Listening" still contains minor elements of Judah's original music, except the remix has harder drums and erratic record scratches.

Still Running is available on Judah's Bandcamp page for $5. Or listen below:

If something is national news, it's almost certainly going to inspire a rap track. Hip-hop is, after all, one of our fastest mediums. So it's no surprise that the death of Osama bin Laden is already yielding a growing body of music.

It's not all inspired, of course: In Tennessee, rapper Swiperboy—the pseudonym of University of Tennessee basketball player Renaldo Woolridge—recorded "USA Troops (Thank You)" within a day of the news that the the al Qaeda leader had been killed by U.S. Navy SEALs. Naturally, it ends with a "USA! USA!" chant. Hot Rod, a California rapper signed to 50 Cent's label, released his own track, which has the genius hook "Osama was killed tonight/so everybody come and have a good time" as well as a shout-out to Charlie Sheen's "winning" mantra. There's plenty more on the YouTubes.

D.C. rappers have some catching up to do: I've been looking, but I haven't seen any homegrown rap jams dedicated to the demise of America's long-elusive enemy. DJ Heat, who runs the blog DC Mumbo Sauce, wrote in a Tuesday email that she expected to see tracks trickling in. Today she writes: "The DMV rappers have let us down." Producer Judah, who runs Forthedmvonly.com, says he hasn't received anything bloggable. (Both blogs, by the way, posted the track "Unholy War" by Thad Reid this week, but it was first uploaded to Soundcloud before Bin Laden's death, and doesn't really have a War on Terror theme.)

The closest thing to a D.C. rap track about Osama? In fact, it's "Hello Iraq" by Cali rapper Ras Kass, produced by Judah. I even got a press release about it:

The West Coast superior teamed up with DC's commanding producer JUDAH to make a presentation that not only calls attention to the country's present condition but also to the actions of the past and how they shape what is to come. JUDAH delivers with his sound so concrete heavy, making this production an exact match to the sentiments that surround the minds of those who are at war on the regular.

Right-o! Here it is:

The DMV Awards show isn't the first local awards program to shut down early because of violence. Last year, the Minnesota hip-hop scene suffered the same fate.

As organizers remember it, the 2010 Twin Cities Hip-Hop Awards show was running relatively smooth. A minor altercation had taken place, but security staff quickly defused the situation before it got out of control.

"People were respecting themselves and the event" held at the First Avenue concert hall, recalls Larry Lucio Jr., a stage manager at the awards show.

Then, technical difficulties stalled the show before the Illuminous 3 set, which forced host Boima Freeman to kill time until they performed.

Soon after, witnesses say, JayEstate—a Minnesota-based record label executive—crashed the stage and wouldn't leave. A video of the incident shows Estate grabbing a microphone, trying to heckle Freeman. That's when the host got irritated.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Freeman yelled to Estate. "Ain't there a little boys' party yo' ass should be at?"

Estate rushed Freeman and slapped the microphone from his hand. Freeman punched Estate in the face. Members of Estate's entourage rushed the stage to throw punches. All hell broke loose. The fourth annual awards show was shut down early.

"I tried to get [Estate] off stage, then when I thought he was getting off the stage, he rushed the host, who swung on him," David "DEPth" Powell, organizer of the Twin Cities Hip-Hop Awards, tells Arts Desk. "Fights always happen at hip-hop shows, but you have to move past it."

Which is exactly the challenge now facing the D.C. area's hip-hop world. On March 5, the fifth annual DMV Awards show ended abruptly after five or six fights erupted on the first and second floors of the Hyatt Regency Crystal City in Arlington. Five people were sent to local hospitals with injuries, including a buffet worker, who was seen leaving the hotel holding a towel to his eye.

No arrests have been made. Arlington County police are investigating the incident. The causes of the fights are still unknown.

After the Twin Cities incident, Lucio says, "no one shied away from what went wrong. It's important to have those conversations. They can be difficult and they can be hurtful."

Yesterday, members of the DMV hip-hop community held a town hall meeting at the Community of Hope AME Church in Temple Hills and discussed ways to strengthen the local scene. Judah, a notable D.C. producer, said local rappers' inflated egos will never allow them to unite; instead, they should "co-exist" if possible. Permiss, a Baltimore radio personality, disagreed, saying that unity will happen here in due time. (I was also on the panel.)

Lucio says there was "shock and horror" in the Minnesota hip-hop community, as people tried to make sense of what happened. Freeman immediately took to Facebook and apologized for fighting. He and JayEstate then publicly squashed the beef on KMOJ-FM radio. But it's been more than a week since the DMV incident, and no public reconciliation has taken place.

And the status of the 2012 DMV Awards is still unclear. On his Trending with EZ radio show last week, EZ Street said the show will happen next year, even if he has to organize it himself. During yesterday's town hall meeting, current organizer Dre All Day was adamant that an awards show will take place next spring.

Despite last year's controversy, this year's Twin Cities Hip-Hop Awards proceeded as scheduled, even if the energy was slightly subdued, Powell says. Again, there was a scuffle in the crowd that ended quickly. At least this time, there weren't any interruptions.

"With this," Powell says, "you just gotta keep trying, and hopefully one day they'll get it."

Luckily Soulful!, a resident producer of the D.C.-based InnerLoop imprint, has both. On Mumbo Sauce and Drumbreaks, the young artist not only creates a richly percussive soundscape, he gets some of D.C.'s best MCs (Muggsy Malone, D.O.E. C.I.G.A.P.O.M., and others) to lend high-quality verses to his journey through yesteryear. The concept album, which pays homage to 1970s soul music, is a vocal/instrumental mash-up of finely chopped samples, head-nodding cosmic grooves, and greasy funk that showcases an impressive musical palate.

From the album's all-in feel, it's apparent that the producer wants to push himself to the fore of D.C.'s best-known producers—a small fraternity occupied by Oddisee, Best Kept Secret, and Judah, among others. Throughout Drumbreaks, Soulful! experiments with driving rhythms, creating an energetic brand of triumphant boom bap that sometimes flirts with abstraction. From its cover (an interpretation of The Ohio Players' Honey LP) to an unabashed Afro feel, the album places the effervescent grittiness of '70s Blaxploitation films in a hip-hop cast. Soulful! even incorporates interview footage from Truck Turner himself on "Ike Hayes," a marching beat with prominent drums wafting throughout the melody.

On "Mind Right" Soulful! spins a soothing web of violins and flutes before bringing in cascading drums, over which X.O. rhymes about perseverance and achieving greatness: "Add up the promises, this is not a threat/And I'mma shine by any means necessary, Malcolm X," X.O. raps at the end of his second verse. "Some Other Ship," meanwhile, is a quirky piece of unadulterated funk. Although Drumbreaks is mostly stuck in the '70s, other decades sneak in: the '90s, for example, on"Welcome Back," a fleeting, piano-laced jazz swing evocative of high-top fades and Cross Colours apparel.

Above all, the pace and sequence resonate loudest, with each song falling effortlessly into the next. Simply put: Mumbo Sauce and Drumbreaks is an incredibly dope concept album, the likes of which I haven't heard in the D.C. region. Go here to download the album for free.

But let's get to the meat of the matter: McDonald's new promo video, set at the Severna Park Golf Center, is actually not lame. His douchey alter-ego, Sal Buckley, is rather believable, probably because McDonald himself used to sell cars. (Sal is also the protagonist this Scion-funded video that McDonald released earlier this year.) The promo has too much Tiger Woods talk, but those lines do add to the douche factor: