*The 2010 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival line-up was announced yesterday over a painstakingly long unveiling process. Some of the artists for the four-day Tennessee-based festival include: Kings of Leon (the first band to go from a tent stage to a headliner), Dave Matthews Band, Phoenix, Jay-Z, Norah Jones, The xx, Stevie Wonder, Zac Brown Band, LCD Soundsystem, Jeff Beck, Weezer, She & Him, The Flaming Lips, Ingrid Michaelson, Kid Cudi, and D.C. native Wale.

*Lil Wayne's planned trip to jail for attempted gun possession yesterday was postponed because of dental surgery. I'm thinking the diamond-encrusted grills may have had something to do with it. He is now set to head to prison March 2.

*Country superstar Dolly Parton said she is considering having White Stripes' frontman Jack White produce her next album. It wouldn't be White's first foray into the old country music scene; he's worked with legends like Loretta Lynn and Wanda Jackson before.

*It's confirmed that Tom Cruise will star in and produce the fourth installment of the Mission: Impossible series. J.J. Abrams won't be directing again, but will likely stay on board as a producer with Cruise. (Also seeing its fourth movie installment? Free Willy: Escape from Pirate's Cove — yes, there was more than one — is getting ready for release in March. The newest film stars Bindi Irwin, Beau Bridges, and, naturally, a giant killer whale.)

*Ellen DeGeneres made her debut as a judge on American Idol last night. I am torn as to whether this is the best or worst thing she's ever done for her career. (I'm leaning towards the latter.)

*Former I Love New York 2 reality show contestant Jamal Rashead Trulove was convicted of murder. Guess it wasn't "trulove" after all.

*Tonight in City Lights: authors Joanna Smith Rakoff and Dylan Landis read from their respective debut novels, A Fortunate Age and Normal People Don't Live Like This at the Arts Club of Washington.

Financial crisis
Stalled too many customers
CEO no more.

Schwartz loses points for imagery but recoups on the kicker. Bonus point to Alison Flood for the headline.

*The Seattle Stranger's Charles Mudede conceives a cosmic explanation for the appeal of the blues. Basically, he says, the aab verse structure reminds us of the settling of the universe, galactic asymmetry, &c.; what he describes sounds like the prequel to "If I Had Possession Over Judgment Day."

*I don't watch Lost—no TV; bad internet connection—but thanks to the magic of Twitter, it's like I was there! Actually, it's a lot like that Family Guy episode in which Peter gets a job attending movies with blind people and describing the action to them, detail by excruciating detail.

*How's this for a man-bites-dog hed?

*The Brits get Alice in Wonderland a week and a half before we do.

*David Malitz doesn't just write about bands—he's in them, too! Check out "Here Comes Trouble," new single from the Cheniers. This shit goes straight to your temporal lobe!

*Newest supergroup: Mary J. Blige, Steve Vai, and Travis Barker.

*Second Dead Weather record could be out by April; it's "bluesier and heavier than we ever thought," Jack White tells Spin. The White Stripes' new film, Under the Great White Northern Lights, will show at SXSW in March.

But no! Take the vid for the band's lead single, "Hang You From The Heavens," an exercise in transmitting single-frame doses of cool and little else:

Then there's "Treat Me Like Your Mother," a kickass song with  a better, but still repetitive, vid:

(Note to Sasha Frere-Jones: I know you like this one! But I think you're allowing the quality of the song to color your critical view of the video. 'Cuz with the exception of that one color-saturated shot [2:52 and ff.], eez boring.)

Now, White directs (and does his best Johnny Depp impresh in) "Cut Like a Buffalo," a song about the tireless repopulation efforts of the NPS. And also about androgyny & CPR:

So, sure, not bad. Obligatory non sequiturs; obligatory dance of the seven veils; obligatory weird hats—all well and good. But (and forgive me if my expectations are too programmatic) this video doesn't take you somewhere unexpected any more than it illuminates an already opaque song.

Herewith, let's direct the DW's next video by fusing elements appropriate to the group's celluloid aesthetic. (Suggestions welcome.)

1. Recurring circus imagery (choose two)
a.) Circus midgets
b.) Bearded ladies
c.) Conjoined twins singing in harmony
d.) Cotton candy served by Mustachioed Gentleman in pinstripe pants & suspendies (prbly Jack White)

2.) Ersatz noir-isms (choose one)
a.) Slinky nightclub singer w/ gun in garter
b.) Lifesize cardboard cutout of Humphrey Bogart shot w/ crossbow by Allison Mosshart
c.) Old Packard driven by Private Detective w/ pencil-thin mustache (prbly Jack White)

3.) Firearms (choose two)
a.) Uzi
b.) AK-47
c.) Small plastic pistol that, when fired, emits a flag featuring photo of Allison Mosshart killing buffalo

4.) Anachronistic headgear (choose one)
a.) a bowler
b.) a top hat
c.) one of those joke-shop arrow-through-the-skull knickknacks
d.) a fez

5.) Allusion to Orson Welles film (choose one)
a.) Journey Into Fear
b.) Touch of Evil
c.) Othello
d.) Casino Royale (1967, not 2006, obvi.)

6.) Cigarettes smoked languidly by (choose one)
a.) Allison Mosshart
b.) Jack Lawrence
c.) Dean Fertita
d.) All of the above, plus Mystery Man dressed in Louis-Seize frills (prbly Jack White)

Jimmy Page has a stronghold on the '70s, The Edge has the '80s cornered, and Jack White holds the title of the 21st century's definitive guitar god? Oscar-winning director Davis Guggenheim's (An Inconvenient Truth) latest doc, It Might Get Loud, chronicles each musician's work and climaxes in a perfect storm of guitar masters on a Warner Bros. soundstage, shredding and talking shop. (Via RollingStone.com) The film, set to be released August 14, received a standing ovation at the Los Angeles Film Festival on June 19.

I wasn't conscious for any of the '80s or much of the '90s, so I can't speak to the Edge's inclusion. But White? Now, I love everything about Jack White—his twist on Bo Diddley, the Stripes' dirty Detroit grooves, and most recently his backbeats for the Dead Weather. And after watching the film's trailer, I especially love the insouciant saltiness that the heretofore laconic axman lends the otherwise sappy nostalgiafest. Affirmations like "Technology is the big destroyer of emotion and truth" get my Twitterview-hating panties in a twist.

But is White really this generation's guitar god? The documentary exhibits White holding his own among the greats, but still...how did Guggenheim single out the sometime Stripe? According to Rolling Stone:

"You could find other guitarists that were virtuosos, and you could find other guitarists that are legends, but you may not find three that are all searchers," Guggenheim said of his subjects. "Each one of them is still searching and still trying to figure out what it means to make music."

Right, well then. I agree White is certainly searching for something with his various side projects. But there are also plenty of other guitarists toiling under a similar burden, without the help of constant trumpeting by Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and now Guggenheim. Marnie Stern and PJ Harvey come to mind. And the fact that women are never honored with "Guitar God" status.

So, BPB readers, a modest appeal for an informal poll: Who do you consider this generation's guitar god? And why no love for the female virtuosos?