Ted Nugent is a Pussy: The CliffsNotes to Everybody Must Get Stoned

“Trying to show a link between rock stars and drugs is like trying to make a link between mouths and tooth decay,” writes R.U. Sirius—the nom de fume of 10 Zen Monkeys‘ Ken Goffman. This is but one of the many mangy comparisons that frontload Everybody Must Get Stoned: Rock Stars on Drugs*, and when you skim the book’s list-heavy 200+ pages, tooth decay starts to sound like an attractive alternative. OK, maybe that’s not entirely fair—there’s some funny writing amid the run-on analogies, and a few of the anecdotes are worth their weight in angel dust. Hell, it’d probably make a nice coffee table book, if you’re David Crosby.

To save you the buyer’s remorse, here are our favorite factoids, trivia, apocrypha, or whatever:

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