The Sleigher: Justin Johnson, “Santa Claus Has a Drinking Problem”
... the after-Christmas edition.
HO HO WHO: It’s hard to say, based on the cutesy but ultimately unhelpful bio on his website and his meager IMDB profile. He’s ostensibly a comedian, but that’s in the eye of the beholder, I guess. This song is a cut from what he calls a “potential Christmas album.”
DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS: Our boy JJ sure does have a knack for crafting carols for the Stuff White People Like crowd. The whispery vocals and ukulele render it quiet enough to unobtrusively fade into the background while you argue with your relatives, yet it’s slyly catchy enough to get lodged in your head while you’re nursing your hangover the next morning.
WHEN DREAMS BECOME NIGHTMARES: ... but this is the kind of sophomoric satire that few people find funny after they’re midway through puberty. The aforementioned subdued singing and ukulele strumming—aren't we sick of those quirky standbys already?—seem to be the only devices left for trite singer-songwriters. The nasal spoken-word PSA at the track’s end is far more likely to induce alcohol abuse than prevent it.
CHEER FACTOR: On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a sigh.