The Sleigher: Sean Price, “How Sean Price Stole Christmas”
HO HO WHO: The burly Boot Camp Clik and Random Axe member Sean Price, aka Ruck of Heltah Skeltah, aka Seanwuar.
STOCKING FULL OF BOOM-BAP: If you're a certified holiday hater, there's nothing but raunchy felicity within this two minutes of yuletide hip-hop catharsis. Producer Khrysis builds a yeti-sized beat from bits of the Seussian "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch," and Price raps as though he doesn't get to do enough cartoonish mean-mugging on his other records: "Fuck Christmas/Fuck this shit/Stick my dick in a box/Fuck this gift."
NOW WE KNOW WHAT GRINCH BALLS LOOK LIKE: Grinch balls are green, saggy, and fuzzy, according to the animated video for the song. And if the Grinch version of Sean Price comes into your house, he will rub your toothbrush on those balls. The image of Grinch balls is by Kimson Albert, who is best known as an animation director for The Venture Brothers. As the video demonstrates, Grinch balls are hardly the only delightfully gross thing in his repertoire.
CHEER FACTOR: 9/10. Singing disgusting things about Santa and Rudolph is hardly new, and "How Sean Price Stole Christmas" can't quite dethrone the Sleigher's all-time hip-hop champ, but for 2012, Price and his hypothetical bozak take the trophy.