Arts Desk

The Sleigher: Red State Update’s “I Don’t Feel Like Fuckin’ This Christmas”

HO HO WHO: Red State Update, the Tennessee-based duo of Jonathan "Dunlap" Shockley and Travis "Jackie Broyles" Harmon. The Sleigher swears to Jesus Himself that he hadn't heard of these guys until a few weeks ago. They do ironic political comedy. They have a new and really long album called Santa Is Real. There is absolutely no way that The Sleigher is going to listen to the whole thing. They'd probably argue that The Sleigher either hates America or hates comedy. Merry Christmas! The Sleigher hates music and politics, too!

BUT, ANYWAY, A SONG CALLED "I DON'T FEEL LIKE FUCKIN' THIS CHRISTMAS" CANNOT BE IGNORED BY THE SLEIGHER: Damn, this song is raunchy and horrible, and they fully intend it to be that way. If anything, it sets up an extremely rigid logical construct: The spiritual gravity of Jesus' birthday is distracting me from the task of having an orgasm in your general direction. And they pound that point home, as if it is their third-favorite prison bitch. The Sleigher is totally disgusted with himself for even making that analogy.

BUT, YEAH, YOU'RE TOTALLY GONNA KEEP READING THIS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE SLEIGHER WILL ATTEMPT TO MAKE A SALIENT CRITICAL POINT EVENTUALLY: This song is written and recorded as if it is country music, and as we now know, inside every country music artist there is either a rapper or a Parrothead waiting to get out. Common sense says that the Red State Update dudes sure as hell ain't secret Parrotheads—"Buffett music" and "multilayered political satire" being mutually exclusive—so they must be secret rappers. And for rappers, sticking to themes really matters. "I Don't Feel Like Fuckin' This Christmas" sticks to its theme, all right.

CHEER FACTOR: 0/10.  The Sleigher is going to write his own song called "I Don't Feel Like Fuckin' This Christmas," and it's gonna be about how Red State Update made him never want to have sex again.

WATCH: Red State Update's "I Don't Feel Like Fuckin' This Christmas"

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Comments

  1. #1

    My favorite Christmas song is the rap version of Jingle Bells where they describe "O what fun it is to sing a slaying song tonight."

  2. #2

    Also check out their "campaign ad" to write in Aleister Crowley in 2012. The first campaign ad in the 2012 POTUS election!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW2V6QsLrWg

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