Arts Desk

Keeping It Real: Suggestions for M.I.A.’s Next Single

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What kind of megastar makes her own tech support calls? The kind that aggressively keeps shit real, apparently. In an interview with Rolling Stone, M.I.A. explains how a three-hour phone call with Verizon led to "I'm Down Like Your Internet Connection," a track from her forthcoming follow-up to Kala. And in a very Nicholas Kristof move, the ranking hip-hop globalist outsourced backing vocals to real live Filipino Verizon employees:

“I was having issues with my cable and wireless, and I was on the phone [with tech support] for three hours, and I thought, ‘Maybe this needs to be part of my music, could you just learn these lyrics and sing it down the phone to me?’ Ten phone calls later, I have Internet that sticks and a song.”

Below the jump, a few suggestions for other household tribulations ripe for the M.I.A. treatment:

  • "I'm Unhinged Like This Broke-Ass Bathroom Cabinet" (background vocals: Brazilian lumberjacks)
  • "My Lyrics Are Unfiltered Like the Water in My Roommate's Brita" (background vocals: reservoir workers in Sri Lanka)
  • "I'm Over You Like the Thin Layer of Dust on My TiVo" (background vocals: cast of Monsoon Wedding)
  • "I'mma Break It Down Like a Billy Bookcase" (background vocals: random Swedish people)
  • "I'm Sprung Like That Leak in the Ceiling" (background vocals: Joe the Plumber)

Further suggestions welcome in the comments.

Related: M.I.A. releases new video, "There's Space For Ol Dat I See," via Twitter, thus confusing the Fader.

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  • matt

    "You've got your wires crossed and I'mma make you blackout like Comcast in a thunderstorm"
    (tv white noise humming in the background)

  • Bitter Elitist

    Holy shit. It took 5 calls and 4-letter words to get Comcast to physically disconnect my cable.

    It has taken 2 calls (and I will make another). To get my Verizon internet straight.

  • Hannah Neprash

    "I'm All Mixed Up Like the Grammar on your Chopsticks Wrapper" (background vocals: the breezy rustle of a shrinking bamboo grove)

  • Dave

    "I'm Wiped Out Like The Sweat I Just Cleaned Off Of The Elliptical Machine In The Gym" (Background vocals: Brad Pitt's character in "Burn After Reading")

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