Judging a Disc by Its Cover: Goblin Cock

A new feature, which will run whenever someone feels like writing it, in which we examine the cover of an album that has found its way onto our promo shelf.

The Band: Goblin Cock
The Album: Come With Me if You Want to Live!

What caught our eye: The band’s graphic name and the delightfully dissonant reference to Terminator 2, which has no goblins but does contain a passing visual reference to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s steroid-seasoned dong.

Digging a little deeper: Nothing disappoints the serious listener like learning that an awesomely named band consists of dudes with boring names. The members of Boston’s Anal Cunt have uncool names like “Seth,” “Josh,” and “Tim.” The monikers of Goblin Cock’s members, however, are Lord Phallus, Bane Ass-Pounder, King Sith, Braindeath, and Loki Sinjuggler. This is awesome.

Taste Rating: 5/10: Goblin Cock’s first album featured a throned goblin king with a massive, purple, pierced penis snaking out from under his robes. The band’s sophomore effort, which depicts an armored and pants-wearing goblin fighting through flames to rescue the listener from mediocre stoner metal, merits a 5 (average distastefulness) by comparison.

Tags: anal cunt, come with me if you want to live!, goblin cock, judging a disc by its cover