Flash: Kids Dance in Baltimore

Things I learned at Saturday night’s Deerhunter/Battles show at Ottobar in Baltimore:

1. If you are going to heckle Deerhunter’s singer, don’t make jokes about food and/or eating food. Or at least don’t make him think that you did. This will make the extremely skinny singer upset. He may or may not tell you to “Eat my dick.” He may or may not continue to heckle you and your tacky shirt the rest of the set.
2. When climbing atop the bass drum, think about not wearing shoes. This is an advantage as your toes will be able to get a good grip.
3. The number of tank-top goons at the show: 1.
4. The number of super-wasted girls at the show, one of whom was not wearing underwear: 2.
5. The number of white girls with dreads: 1.
6. With Battles, it’s all about drummer John Stanier. When he set up his drum kit front and center and raised his cymbal like a sail some six feet in the air, the crowd roared in approval. He got the same reaction when he took his shirt off midway through their set.
7. Baltimore crowds will dance. This is news to me, because I live in D.C. If you thought it would be difficult to dance to syncopated math rock, you would be wrong. You can try this at home or at your office. Try and dance to this.
8. The signs will tell you smoking is not allowed past the bar. This rule will be ignored.
9. I don’t think there is a better, tighter live band than Battles playing right now.
10. This was Battles‘ last show on its six-week U.S. tour.