Arts Desk

My Newest Facebook Friend: Recently Deceased Goth Dirk Smiler


Earlier today I Facebook-friended Dirk Smiler, the flamboyant sommelier and fixture of Washington's goth scene who died Monday night. A few hours later, he friended me back. This was, at first glance, a little creepy.

Judging by how Smiler's friends have described him to me, I'm fairly sure he would've liked that. (The page, by the way, is being updated by Smiler's friend, Skot Braunfeld.)

Even though we're now Facebook friends, I wasn't a real-life friend of Smiler. He had many though—Braunfeld told me yesterday that a wake this Sunday could attract hundreds. If you did know Smiler, and you'd like to talk about him, write me an e-mail.

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  • moi

    Thats fantastic that your using his facebook page to exploit his friends for your story. I am glad you got his story out, but leave the wake out of this. If you didnt know him, stay the hell away. The problem with all this buzz that the press has created is that we will all have to dodge press now. The whole reason subcultures exist is because its not part of the mainstream. So many of us are made to suffer for our tastes and beliefs for not fitting into society's niches. Im just afraid this will become yet another scenario where the press and other people who have no right reason or need to be there will attend to gawk at the mass who are merely coming together to grieve. Think about it if this was your own flesh and blood. Im sure you wouldnt want me, a stranger, maybe even a little strange, standing in the corner staring, recording, being where I am NOT invited or wanted.

  • sadlife

    To the above poster: who is "we all"? What do you mean "dodge the press"? How important do you think you are? The press doesn't care about this. It barely got a blurb on People get shot all the time, unfortunately. This story will be dead in a week.

    This man had multiple children with different women whom he did not bother to man up and take care of. Instead, he chose to waste his life partying in the local goth scene. After decades of womanizing and self-indulgence, he finally hooked up with the wrong psycho and she offed him with a shotgun, or whatever. No one deserves to die this way, and it is a terrible tragedy. Let's not glorify it.

  • moi

    "we all" is certainly not you. Sadlife seems quite appropriate and fitting for someone who generalized a great guy based on reading an article on the internet. Me, Im not important at all. Im nowhere near as important as Dirk was to so many. I honestly hope you are correct and nobody who doesnt belong there doesnt show up.

  • moi

    *correction, I hope that nobody who DOES NOT belong there shows up.*

  • raiser

    Sadlife, if its not that important why are you here? leave us alone, keep your opinion to yourself and let us mourn. Your crass comment is unnecessary and unwanted.

  • Anya

    Sadlife- just shut up!
    To everybody else- we are getting security for the wake and no one who dosen't belong will be getting in. Security- people who worked the door at a varios clubs/events, so they WILL know people's faces, so pls do not try anything stuped.

  • ClintJCL

    Looks like SadLife has a sad life indeed. He's lucky he isn't shot in the head, because then everyone else would probably be judging HIS sad life.

  • cailin

    Please do not speak of which you know nothing about. There are many situations that can be complicated; please do not judge. The story may fade but his memory will not and that is what matters He meant many things to many people, including me. :)

  • Arti

    How can you glorify someone that was as glorious We aern't glorifying anything We just want to have our peace and privacy to mourn @sadlife how can you compartmentalize an individual's life of whom you did not have the pleasure to meet.

  • Mollypop

    I feel so much cooler now. Goths are so creepy. I know they're really just like the ones I saw on TV. I don't want to waste my life partying in clubs, I think I should stay safe here on the couch with my TV news judging other people. This way I know I can die old and fat and never be glorified or shot.

  • Alicia

    @ Sadlife : Bitter a little? Your moniker itself gives us a glimpse into your pathetic existence. You're probably a homely sycophant that hit on Dirk and are just hurt that he snubbed you. Get over it. This is not the place to address your issues. Go away and leave us in peace to grieve for our beloved friend.

  • Kingo80s

    To know Dirk was to know someone that little clippings about his passing, and quick 3 line summaries of his life on the surface, could never accurately describe. The fact that people from around the nation, and the world, are planning to try and attend the wake, is voice enough to the fact that he was more to many, than most ever are to a few.

  • Mark Zamcheck

    To Anya -
    I'm disappointed that I will not be allowed to attend the wake. As one of Nate's VERY few first cousins, I was hoping to pay my respects as I cannot be at his funeral.
    I suppose I should thank you for the heads-up. I now won't bother to fly to Virginia.
    Its really a shame.

  • dem

    brothers and sisters, dirk would have never excluded anyone from his parties or one of his events... even if someone or some group of feel differently. we know better... that dirk lived and preached his values to thousands, and shared everything he was and asked very little in return. I believe as long as the press or whomever wishes to appear at the wake, may... just ask long as they do not disrespect dirks name and his family. I am sure dirk would have allowed anyone to have a glimpse of what made him so special to thousands to people. Dirks legacy will live on...

  • Anya

    Security is to keep the wake safe, not to keep friends or relatives away. It's obvious. I hope that press members will be respectful. And I hope that people who have negative words to say about Dirk, his lifestyle or his friends- stay out of it, please show some respect.

  • retrosnowwhite

    Mr. Fischer, this article is in extremely poor taste.

  • Kerri

    Mr. Fischer, I find it quite pathetic that you have to mine good people's grief just to get yourself another byline. Shame on you.

  • ClintJCL

    Mark, I don't think anyone here was disinviting you to the wake. 350+ people are coming.

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  • spring daye

    WOW...Mark, i have no room to say who cant come...but i think it is fair to say you are family....please don't let this blog stop you! someone earlier in the thread, spoke some well not so "morally/politically correct stuff". It will be a large wake, as well as funneral...Nathan knew many people and many people knew Dirk!! i say come one come all (paying respect is what we do)

  • a little lost

    Theres got to be enough evedence to keep gf free,and by the sound of it,you all know is she capable?

  • Mollypop

    at lost- I will make no comments on Cara's character. However, know that if she is charged that charges are serious. Police do not take this lightly, and usually make sure they have enough evidence to charge- and know how they want to charge exactly before doing so. I believe they are waiting on the autopsy, which often takes 6 weeks from what I hear.

  • sultana

    wow, Mr. Fischer, this is blurb is profoundly tacky. You are a parasite, and I mean that in a totally derogatory way.

  • a little lost

    mollypop-i just cant put it together,they had a fight,ok,went to the bed room,ok and then room mates hears a gun shot, and he has been shot? Where did the bullets come from as everyone said it never loaded? It sounds like a snapped episode to me.......

  • Kaya

    Again, @ lost - They WILL wait until the autopsy is complete, and again, she checked herself into the psych ward, so I'm sure as long as they know her whereabouts and dont consider her a flight risk, they'll take their time doing what they need to do or not do. As far as a snapped episode, he wouldn't harm anyone unless asked to do so in a scene voluntarily and was rabid about safe words. This is a topic which you've already proven yourself to know nothing about, so please shut up, Elizabeth.

    @Fischer - just disgusting. What a tasteless piece of crap you can be. Shitty journalism, for sure. FAIL.

  • a little lost

    They WILL wait until the autopsy is complete, and again, she checked herself into the psych ward, so I’m sure as long as they know her whereabouts and dont consider her a flight risk, they’ll take their time doing what they need to do or not do...NO shit bitch...fuckin obviously.. Your obviously as fucking pathetic and dumb as your post, As far as snapped, again idiot, snapped is a woman show on oxygen, ABOUT WOMAN who kill so no one was sayin he would harm anyone..AND what topic did i prove i know nothing about cause i am seeing is a bunch of crap you dont know shit about!! LAst- Who the hell is elizabeth? Do me a favor
    kaya READ A LITTLE HARDER NEXT TIME BITCH!!just disgusting. What a tasteless piece of crap you can be

  • Truth

    All of you need to think about who you hang out with. Cara is whacked. . . . everyone knows it. .. looks like you all are whacked too. . . . Cara left her family of 2 kids to be with this freak. . . . so, he is a good guy? he did not deserve whatever happened, but play with shit and you get shit. . . .

  • a little lost

    True that truth, i couldnt have said it better!! Kudos

  • Truth

    I have seen Cara's abilities, temper, rage, and more. . .. let's be honest. She has the ability, the skills and the knowledge to hide it all. . . she is a Marine, we trained her!! She received Sgt. faster than most. . . . she went astray a loooooong time ago. . .well before this tragedy. Cara's head was a mess. Those who knew her well, knew this. . . . if you didn't, you had your head in the sand or somewhere else. . . . she loved drama, living on the edge, tantrums, fights, anger, manipulation, drugs (bad drugs) and she was possessive. . . let it all add up in time. . . .

  • hyphee

    There are some qualities in people that, regardless of knowing the big picture, are indicative of their nature. @sadlife bases his opinion on such qualities and the vulgar responses only solidify his position. Trashy journalism is a bit of a stretch as well; Fischer states he befriended the man on facebook (a sign of respect and memorial for those that have passed) and makes a comment with regards to being informed by Smiler's friends. These are pathetic ramblings of a 'subculture' of losers that are both encouraging and feeding off the publicity they are supposedly against, like thick-headed children.