Dirk Smiler, Prominent Washington Goth, Is Dead
He was the closest thing Washington's goths had to a bon vivant. Dirk Smiler, a flamboyant sommelier known for his joie de vivre in a scene most acknowledge for its joie de mort, is dead of a gunshot wound to the head, Fairfax police have confirmed. He was 37.
The incident occurred last night around 10:30 p.m. in Smiler's Annandale home, according to police. Officer Bud Walker from the Fairfax County Police Department's Public Information Office confirmed that police questioned—and are continuing to question—occupants of the home. Smiler lived with his girlfriend, Cara Cottle, with whom he had broken up with earlier in the day, according to Smiler's friend Skot Braunfeld, and made up with in the hours before his death. Police are still deciding whether to rule the incident a homicide or an accidental death. Walker said no one has been arrested.
Smiler, who worked at the restaurant Bezu in Potomac, "could quote Shakespeare like he could take a puff of a cigarette," Braunfeld said. He was known for his extravagant lifestyle and foppish style. "If you can stratify something as nebulous as the goth scene on a popularity scale, everybody knew him," said Braunfeld, who is updating a tribute page to Smiler and helping organize memorial arrangements. "All the guys knew him and all the girls had been hit on by him at least once." A Facebook memorial to Smiler has elicited dozens of comments. Cottle's Facebook page has been taken down.
Friends since their late teens, Braunfeld and Smiler shared a birthday—this coming Sunday, Feb. 21—which Braunfeld said would now serve as Smiler's wake. Braunfeld said he was glad to speak to a reporter about his friend. "He was definitely a prima donna, so he would have loved to have somebody write about him."
Above: Smiler's Facebook photo. On the right is Cottle.
7:08 pm
Dirk was well loved, and will be missed.
7:19 pm
I can't believe this is real........shocked. LOVE and LIGHT in the outer reaches, love! You will be so missed.
7:23 pm
Mr. Fischer,
You have written a fine article about Dirk.
Thank you.
7:32 pm
Thank you for writing this article about Dirk. He was so important to so many of us - and not just people in DC (I'm all the way across the country). It may be ironic to say this about someone so well known on the Goth scene, but he brought sunshine into every life he touched.
8:10 pm
I will always think of Dirk fondly.
He always had something nice to say to me,
I could talk to him about anything and
he always wanted to buy me a drink.
A really sweet and unique person.
I will miss him to.
8:15 pm
Dirk, you will be missed...
8:30 pm
The pain of this loss is felt even 3000 miles away here in the pacific nw.. Goodbye old friend! We will all miss and revere you always.
8:35 pm
Dirk was a good man. A gentleman and a scholar. Thank you for your article, Jonathan.
8:54 pm
Dirk. You are an amazing person, in life and in death. I wish you could be around for future generations to hear your stories...
9:22 pm
I first would like to say this was all a big mistake !! Cara is my sister and she is in a dayz she misses him a lot and I can't speck for her but she is not doing well at all. Please find somewhere in your hearts to understand but she never did what is being said about her and I would really be greatful if people didn't lie on my sister she not in jail and her where abouts is not important. I understand a lot of people are upset and are very sad but so are we. Thank you and God bless you all.
9:24 pm
My fondest memory of Dirk was wandering around the East Village with my husband at the time trying to figure out which club we wanted to go to. He saw a man walking in front of us that looked like he might be able to give us some recommendations so we ran ahead to ask. Low and behold, it was Dirk. What are the chances that you'd run into someone you know randomly on the streets of NYC? Dirk had hooked up with a local lady and took us around the town with them. We knew him, but not all that well, yet he took us in and showed us a great time. I'll never forget his hospitality and the warm greetings I always received from him whenever I would randomly run into him during the years that followed. He will be missed.
9:29 pm
Brother, you were taken from us too soon. I will always remember you reciting poetry to me on my birthday every year, and will always miss it.
10:40 pm
I don't understand ... did the girlfriend shoot him, or did he shoot himself?
10:52 pm
mccxxiii, no one knows yet, but lots of rumors flying. Hopefully wiser heads will prevail when emotions settle down, and we can stick with that whole 'innocent until proven guilty in a court of law' thing to sort it out in the long run.
11:01 pm
The last time i talked to him i promised to have lunch with him before i moved away next month.
I guess he moved away first.
He was always so good to me, invited me for thanksgiving when i didn't have anywhere else to go, let me bring my boyfriend to the new years party, dirk was the best!! The man was the suavest, most loving, self proclaimed rock star you'd ever meet!
I'm thankful for the time I shared with him, his friends, and his home.
11:19 pm
I like the lede, Jonathan. Fellow bon-vivants of the DC goth scene are grieving now. We have lost our Falstaff.
11:20 pm
Dirk, you were always a good friend. I hated to see you go. May you recite Shakespeare and sing the songs of the Pyrates Royale forever. Your renditions were moonlight reflecting into our hearts. I will miss you. And when you get to the other side, please say hi to Bagel and Louisa for me.
Your Friend
David M
11:26 pm
For once in my life, I am practically left without words. Dirk was a man I was proud to call my friend. We used to have these great intelligent discussions about everything imaginable, and I always found him to be profound and yet lighthearted. He had a rapier wit, and was kind. Long live Dirk!
11:40 pm
It's always a shock when the most alive person you've ever met is taken from this world. I met him ten years ago this month, and my life would have been so much less without his presence. If you are reading this and never knew Dirk, I am so much sadder for you than for those of us who knew him well: you will never know what it is to have lived life to its fullest. He was the best of us, and without him we are all diminished.
11:51 pm
Elizabeth: only a few misguided people have said anything about Cara and those comments are not available for public viewing.
You will do Cara a great disservice with any further public comments you make. Stay off the internet & get her a lawyer.
12:29 am
I didn't know Dirk at all but a Facebook friend who I used to play a MUD with posted that he had passed away so I clicked this link that she posted. It is very saddening to see things like this happen to anyone, but especially someone as vibrant as I gather Dirk was.
1:03 am
Truly a tragic event that comes on the heels of the death of my eldest second cousin who, by sad coincidence, was the same age as Dirk. I am roller-coastering between shock, sadness, and a bit of anger. I was so psyched to attend his upcoming birthday celebration that now will be a wake. He was one of the first people I befriended in the scene when I moved back to the area 12 years ago. I have a habit of classifying people according to Shakespearean characters and what leapt out at me was Falstaff. Dirk was a burly, dapper connoisseur of a man whose huge grin and ebullient spirit was always noticeable at a distance. As a photographic subject, he was the kind of character a photojournalist could spend years hoping to run into in order to capture such personality. I am fortunate to have encountered him when I did. I played the song "All The Way Down" by Voltaire in my car as I went to my weekly social evening, surrounded by friends who were the only ones I could commiserate with at the time. Though they did not know him, they nonetheless toasted with me to him as they could see how much he meant to me and to all of us here. Grief is a bitter bond but how he touched us all is how he will live on in us. Amorte!
2:22 am
I only met the man once, in his home, and as the article described, he IS a man of life. I spoke to him briefly, and he is definitely as this article portrays him. A genuine room-and-heart lightener. Great smile, inviting, friendly, and a void has been left where he once was. I can only hope that others will remember him as his namesake insinuated, a sharp man with a soulful grin.
2:23 am
Justice will be done.
2:45 am
your smile, lust for life, and kindness will be missed and can never be replaced. Such a tragic and painful loss for so many of us - you were a family member to me. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend, RIP Dirk
3:35 am
I had broken up w/ my girlfriend back in '08 & found myself at a point where I was needing to rebuild some social circles in the area (an aspect in life I had been neglecting for a while). Dirk warmly welcomed me & introduced me to a whole new circle of people, many of whom have since become good friends in the scene. It was a time when someone of his magnetism was needed & he has been a good friend ever since. This was a sad & tragic loss to all who knew him. Thank you for such a tribute - he would have loved it.
7:43 am
I only had the honor of knowing Dirk for about three years through his job at Bezu. But he captured my heart and imagination as he has all you others. To coin the hackneyed phrase, He "Had me at hello." His demeanor and artistry of being reflected his infinite capacity for jest and good humor. His was a wide brim of a smile and I cannot think of a more befitting last name to match a soul than his. He was one of those rare and larger than life creatures that cross our paths if once or twice in a life. I have wept with abandon for a man I had known but three years all day yesterday. That to is testimony to how deeply and truly he embedded the seeds of affection and good regard in anyone's heart whom he wished to seize. He always had an open door policy to anyone with a desire to come and join in his reveries to celebrate the greatness of friends, food, laughter, literature, music and dance and most of all the FREEDOM of one's soul to live unhindered by the judgment of the common, unimaginative sod among us. You were and remain a true PRINCE among men dear dear Dirkie. You my good man shall never be forgotten and we will always be raising our glasses (even if they can no longer be explained with such finesse and noble authority) of wine and celebrate your happy soul even if we despair for the physical absence, your spirit matter will continue to dance among us.
"Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."
William Shakespeare - Romeo and Juliet
8:23 am
Dirk's influence reached not only all the way across the country but beyond, as I'm grieving for him all the way over here in London. Dirk loved life and all its pleasures, he loved people and went out of his way to be friendly towards everyone. He was a shining star, no one whose life touched his will ever forget him. Truly one of a kind. I'll miss you pal.
12:35 pm
wonderful tribute.
ciao, bello
12:38 pm
I had met Dirk a few different times, and enjoyed his company greatly. The funny thing is that each time we met I had to be at work early the next morning. Never did sleep those nights. But neither did Dirk or his friends. Well.... goodnight, Dirk. Wish I could say I knew you better.
12:44 pm
I've known Dirk Smiler tangentially for about two decades.
To me, Dirk was always a smiling face in a crowd, a lighthearted story to fill an awkward silence, an overly exuberant slap on the back when I least expected it, a dirty joke told amongst inappropriate company, a bawdy poem in a crowded hotel elevator... and the most over-dressed man in ANY room (which is saying a lot, given some of our mutual friends).
I've known Dirk for a long time, if not well, and he will be sorely missed. Godspeed, brother.
1:51 pm
It is said that fools admire but men of sense approve. Even so, Dirk was worthy of admiration. He was a celebrity, not by virtue of wealth or some born luck-of-the-draw talent (though I did once hear him recite 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' from memory), but rather by virtue of his choices - how he chose to approach life and people, the sheer warmth and power of his spirit. A rare example of a human being living free and fearlessly, and a friend and brother to all.
Frater, ave atque vale.
4:32 pm
Dirk will be greatly missed <3.
6:50 pm
Dirk, although I cannot be there in person, know that I will miss you. You were always good for a smile and intelligent conversations which I appreciated every instance we got to speak.
Rest well friend. I will raise many a glass in tribute to you in the coming days.
8:55 pm
Dirk will live on in the hearts and memories of everyone he met, for he gave us all an appreciation of life, spirit, 'spirits', and the the majesty of this world.
7 years was far too short a time to have known you. Thank you for all your kindness to me. In your company I felt welcome and honoured.
Take care my Brother! Know that we will always love you!!!
"Clarior Hinc Honos" - Brighter Hence the Honour
9:17 pm
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
...and when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
K. Gibran
10:57 pm
This is such a tragedy to see Dirk go like this. It is also very sad to know that he will never be able to be the father of his children. Very sad.
11:17 pm
Im really not digging on the fact that our event to grieve is turning into a media event right before our eyes. If I was a fucking display, Id be in the smithsonian. I really hope people who have no business being there stay the hell away. Its so easy for people who dont belong to certain groups or subcultures to think that by trying to generalize or classify people it makes them easier to understand. But it really just comes off as stupid and offensive. To try to classify or generalize such a great man like Dirk, is to dilute the very fabric of his existence. A very kind, gentle, honorable, sweet, and giving man is dead. Lets hope that the press doesn't use this as an excuse to take pictures and further their own careers by showing off the freak show to the masses. There have been a lot of kind things said, yes. But remember before you go spilling your guts to the first guy who approaches you with a pen or a recorder, they didnt care. They dont care. To them, to the writer of this article, to the writer of any of the articles, you seem interesting. thats all.
just another piece to a puzzle that Im sure will be bastardized to display on page three.
These people have no respect for any of us. Dont forget that.
11:59 pm
Here, here, "moi". Good point. And I see what you mean. Some of these articles are so ridiculously distant. :-(
12:07 am
I just dont want such a fantastic person who means so much to so many people to be marginalized.
12:13 pm
"moi" - It is a good point, But I'd like to be the first to point out that Dirk would have reveled in this sort of media attention. I think clear communication with the media/press could only serve to paint a clearer picture of who Dirk was in life - good and bad. Dirk never claimed to be anything more than what he was, he made no apologies for who he was, he simply embraced life to the fullest and followed his own path.
That being said, there will be security working the door at his wake in case too many gawkers begin to show. As long as the crowd is under control, I'm sure Dirk would have felt "The more the merrier".
-S
1:19 pm
Well for all those concerned I will be attending Dirk's Wake to remember him. I will not be able to run this weekend and to my Gamers I'm sorry but will will again miss another week.
As for Dirk and me, I remember first meeting and and having very fond discussion of lady/Wench/Girl/Woman's attire, (normally lack thereof, and smoke cloves). I did not know what to make of this man of quick wit and smiles, but he quickly found a place for me in his rotation of the night clubs and fair. Dirk maintained a social calendar that would make a escort services call for temp help, and that's just following him around the clubs/Renn fest, peoples parties etc . . .
I last crossed paths with Dirk at Renn Fest maybe my briefest chat with him to date. I was going out and he was on his stroll around fair to say Hi/Hit on new chicks/ see what mayhem the Freaks where stirring up. I remember it was a smile, a hello, a hug, bumping of my mug to his chalice, and a see you later. Well I need to find a loud club, rowdy bar, or good house party with cloves, and watch women in skimpy clothing and Crack Jokes for Dirk to listen to from the other side of the Veil.
Sorry Just a Passing thought, I just wanted to share, . . . . .
2:21 pm
Damn. He is one of the first people I met in the goth scene so very many years ago.
My wife has always liked to watch him dance. This makes me feel sick.
6:44 pm
You will be remembered fondly. Its too bad that our plans never had time to come to fruition before you left us. I promise that I will complete what was left undone. I'm just sorry you won't be with me in the flesh to witness the earthly results. Rest in Peace brother....
7:37 pm
HOW DARE YOU POST THIS PHOTO OF MY BROTHER WITH THAT THING THAT TOOK HIM FROM US??? SHAME ON YOU!
7:53 pm
Only the good die young, apparntly, and my dear Dirkling would have said he'd live forever by that logic! Though we all know thats the facade talking. Would that he were here, he would look at me, and we would say (in unison) "That was some sh*t!" WHY??? why why? why? why? why? If he made you so mad you wanted to kill him--then f-ing LEAVE! How dare you?! My tax dollars trained to you 'kill first ask questions later" huh? I am sure you are in pain, BUT you cannot imagine what we-his family-are going through right now! Like it or not-If Dirk was here, he would likely ask us to cut you some slack [though Im SURE he'll understand in this case], just like he always did when he was dating some wretched chick that did not pass muster with his family (Vanessa anyone? Whom I defended to everyone.."A whore is not who you are, its what you do" (not French Vaness!!)--I HAVE NO PICTURES OF DIRK WITH MY SON BECAUSE OF YOU!! Because he cared for you, he begged me to give you a chance--so I did, nearly fighting w my best friend b/c of your 'profession' which I have no problem with... But when I arrived @ your home with my then 5m old son in tow, Dirk hadn't seen me in 2 years, and had NEVER seen my boy--you gave him crap to ask us to leave because 'you simply can't stand children'--you are a foul creature). Enough. I want all fam. members to please get in touch. I'm ill.
11:08 pm
You left a mark on my heart. Thank you for your being in my life. Truly an individual not soon forgotten.
2:21 pm
Mischa,
I am sure you don't remember me, but I remember you. Relax, justice will be done. I am in Phoenix now and cant help you out but remember, Dirk won't be forgotten by us and I am sure we'll all tell the new generation of gothlings about him as well!
Innocent until proven guilty. Remember that brother. If she is in fact proven to have done this, then hate her for killing him. Hate her for anything else but not that which isn't proven yet.
In the mean time, breathe, Dirk would just tell you to call down and have fun. Life is obviously too short, shorter for some, but ce la vie.
I am sure the whole scene will help you if you ask for it. We look after our own.
12:59 am
Mischa, really?! don't you get that her lawyers will have access to all of the bullshit "excuses" that you have just spewed to draw attention to yourself.
3:47 pm
The below-linked video was produced from footage that will appear on the upcoming Delerium "Epiphany" dvd release. This is NOT the video from the dvd; this is a Tribute to Dirk Smiler who shall remain forever immortalized dancing front row center at the concert:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=322997686121
10:49 am
I would happily attest to who Cara is. . . . . .Elizabeth, yes, get Cara a lawyer. She has the tendency. . . I have seen it. . . I am so sorry for Dirk. I had never met him but I can see he was cared for in an enormous way. Cara may have too. . . .but Cara has a temper that has never been understood nor witnessed by many. . . . I am sorry for the whole situation. I could have seen something coming up to 3 years ago. . . . . .
11:57 am
The finest man I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din.
12:21 pm
cool thanks for posting this
9:55 am
Dirk was a close friend for many years, we called each other brother since the times we worked together at the Maryland Renaissance Festival. Though time, distance and life had led us apart from the close contact we once shared, the sad news of his passing has not demisted the loss and pain I (and all who called him “friend”) feel. It was a privilege to share in a part of his life, to know him was to be greeted with a warm smile, a witty phrase and offered a quaff from his ever present flask. Tonight I raise my own flask to him and each time I do so from this moment forward I will hear is Scottish Brogue in my mind and shed a tear for a life that so enriched others and ended far too soon.