The Stages of Star Wars Grief
Star Wars fans are a notoriously aggrieved bunch. And for good measure—sequels, rereleases, and an intellectually fickle creator will do that to you. Some of them have even made their own movies about their plight, and those movies in turn have received special fêtes at important local film festivals during which the obsessives can play with toy lightsabers and argue over who shot first. (Spoiler alert: I don't care.)
But earlier this week, it was discovered that ahead of the Blu-ray issue of the Star Wars series, George Lucas has made even more revisions to his constantly reworked hexalogy. Something about Darth Vader belching out a defiant yawp before tossing the Emperor to his death in Return of the Jedi and a banshee scream the science fiction blog io9 compared to the sound of "Walrus Man barfing."
Naturally, the nerds revolted. But this time around, they took to Twitter, where the hashtag #StarWarsBlurayChanges shot up the trending topics as Star Wars originalists, clinging to their sacred text as vociferously as Justice Clarence Thomas does to 18th-century legal traditions, protested the latest alterations. But they'll probably get over it soon enough—as younger Star Wars fans emerge, they'll do so having grown up with the newer versions and as the older fans can't break themselves from the addictive fount that is Lucasfilm, they'll eventually accept it. After all, what good is owning a shiny, expensive Blu-ray player if you can't watch Star Wars on it?
In Kubler-Ross terms, the evolution will probably look something like this:
Illustration by Brooke Hatfield
11:51 am
Sorry too sarcastic to read. Better luck next time.
4:14 pm
"as younger Star Wars fans emerge, they'll do so having grown up with the newer versions"
Unlikely. Given the scope of the fandom in popular culture, there's pretty significant cross-generational attachment to the material. I meet 13 year olds who say the like it better when Han Shoots First, etc. Keep in mind that a lot of these kids are downloading it off the interwebz.
But whatever. The Dark Horse comics were holy crap kinds of amazing. Dark Empire is a landmark, which is weird given that franchise comics tend to blow.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Empire
A universally acclaimed classic, although not shocking given that Tom Veitch wrote it.
4:16 pm
Fuck it. I am downloading Dark Empire right now and ignoring work.
6:25 pm
This graphic needs to be screenprinted and sold at Crafty Bastards. But Lucas would probably sue.
1:41 pm
The real crap about these BD's is that here in Europe the only Dolby-True HD is in GERMAN. In every country. Not even the English track, which is a lame 300kbps.
2:14 pm
"After all, what good is owning a shiny, expensive Blu-ray player if you can't watch Star Wars on it?"
Watching the infinitely superior *Firefly* and *Serenity* on it?
6:43 pm
It's kind of a cheap shot for the author to poke fun at people that make this their hobby. I can see this as a decent revenge post if the star wars fans had posted a topical article talking about how his hobby, trolling the internet and making fun of others in a sad attempt at scratching out an existence, but posting an article like this about a series he likely doesn't care much about is akin to Shatner singing Rocketman.
Bad troll is bad. Try writing children's books, they don't care what you say as long as it has pictures. You can draw, right?
7:01 pm
Jay, if you read the linked article about the People v. George Lucas party at Silverdocs last year, you'll have seen that even though Star Wars fans are a famously picky lot, many of them are not above having a little fun at their own expense.
This article was adapted from a series of tweets I posted in response to the #StarWarsBlurayChanges trend, and yes, it pokes at the stereotypical Star Wars fan who engages in cosplay, movie marathons, and nitpicking the differences between various releases of the series. There's nothing wrong with doing that as a hobby. If I'm making fun of anyone, it's the people who make lusting over a certain presentation of Star Wars their entire lives.
However, I must contest your comparison between this item and your positing one that ridicules that famous video of William Shatner singing. You claim to be defending legions of devotees to a fictional canon; that "Rocketman" video, however, is pure Shatner and exists outside the Star Trek universe. Besides, only a truly deranged fan would defend Shatner as an unimpeachable talent--he's great fun, to be sure, but his value is mostly camp.
But like most attempts to equate Star Trek and Star Wars, the comparison you suggest is akin to balancing apples and bowling balls. Qa'pla!
P.S. I can't draw; that wonderful artwork is by Washington City Paper's design director Brooke Hatfield.
8:07 pm
You got me, sport. Well played. But more to a point, I'm not defending fanboys, just apparantly making an ass out of myself.
2:21 am
StarWarsFan:"I will not accept these changes! Lucas is destroying my childhood!"
Obi-Wan:"You will accept these changes." *waves hand*
StarWarsFan:"I will accept these changes..."
Obi-Wan:"You will continue to love all things Star Wars."
StarWarsFan:"I love... all things Star Wars..."
Obi-Wan:"Move along."
StarWarsFan:"Move along."
Honestly, being Star Wars nerd of epic proportions myself, I have always felt that the arguments over various versions of the films has been more in the vein of "Sporting Nerdery" than actually contentious. Do I prefer the original version of the "real" trilogy? Certainly. Do I _hate_ the "updated" versions? No. I find some of the stuff inserted into them to be quite funny at times, and in a way, these changes give some insight into Lucas' evolving picture of the universe as a whole.
The "prequel-ogy", on the other hand, causes migraines. I so want to love it, yet I find myself annoyed by it. Jar-Jar, "Manakin", Vader's "Noooooo!"... I'll leave it at this: Star Wars fans have opinions as varied as the aliens in Mos Eisley. Listening to, or participating in, the arguments over these opinions and theories is as much entertainment, if not more, than the films themselves.