Arts Desk

Hacking IMDB: A Sneak Peek at Tim Burton’s Forthcoming Wizard of Oz

You’ve seen his Roald Dahl. You’ve seen his Lewis Carroll. Now see his L. Frank Baum!

Next year, Tim Burton will release The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy’s Relapse. Though the film’s still in preproduction, Arts Desk has obtained a rough version of its IMDB page.

The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy’s Relapse
Director: Tim Burton
Writers: Tim Burton; Henry Selick
Release Date: April 1, 2011
Genre: Action | Adventure | Fantasy
Tagline: “You’d better just forget about Kansas altogether.”
Plot: [Spoiler alert!]

The year is 2013. Dorothy (Winona Ryder), now a spinster, hopes to avoid an arranged marriage with the son of Kansas’ principal cattle magnate. Fleeing the family farm accompanied only by Toto (Andy Serkis), a three-legged mutt long in the tooth and short on hair, she stumbles upon a soothsayer (Christopher Walken), who, after endeavoring in vain to loosen her petticoat, reads her Tarot cards and tells her there is “travel and death” in her future. Dorothy agrees, but notes also that this prediction could apply to anyone. Furious, the soothsayer clubs Dorothy on the head with a pickled opossum. Upon waking, Dorothy finds herself in an alternate reality, which she remembers as ‘Oz’ but which, apparently, is known as ‘Faux Poz’ to the natives, a stunted race of depraved gamblers. After winning a pair of ruby-encrusted Manolo Blahniks in a life-sized game of roulette, Dorothy sets off in search of the Emerald City. The kindly Scarecrow (Johnny Depp), drooling only occasionally, helps navigate Dorothy through a maze of deceit, wordplay, and moral allegory. While traveling the Yellow Brick Road, now fallen into disrepair courtesy of winged, simian vandals, the two of them encounter the Lion (Ben Kingsley), whose species is now endangered and who consoles himself by playing flip-cup with the Tin Man (Hank Azaria). After a heavily opiated montage in a field full of poppies, the wanderers happen upon the Emerald City, wherein a wizard who looks suspiciously like the soothsayer maintains a stable of talking horses with thick Welsh accents. Before Dorothy can press them for their equine wisdom, the Wicked Witch of the West (Helena Bonham Carter) swoops in on a pennyfarthing, absconding with the Blahniks and swearing revenge on her sister, the White Witch of the North (Dame Judi Dench). In a final showdown under pulsing, ominous skies, the Scarecrow catches fire but is saved by the Lion’s tears, while the warring sisters settle their score in a Danny Elfman-gone-electro-pop dance-off. Weighing her options, Dorothy decides to remain in Faux Poz, spurning the cattle magnate and shacking up with the Scarecrow, with whom, presumably, she will produce unusual children.

Cast:

Winona Ryder ... Dorothy Gale
Christopher Walken ... Soothsayer/Wizard of Faux Poz
Johnny Depp ... The Scarecrow
Ben Kingsley... The Lion
Hank Azaria ... The Tin Man
Dame Judi Dench ... Glinda
Helena Bonham Carter ...The Wicked Witch
Andy Serkis ... Toto
Steve Buscemi ... Cattle Magnate
Deep Roy ... Head of Lollipop Syndicate
Stephen Fry ... Horse
Willem Defoe ... Tree
Pete Postlethwaite ... Wingèd Ape

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Comments

  1. #1

    Does it make people feel cool to say "Manolo Blahnik" instead of "shoe"?

  2. #2

    This looks like a disaster if you read the plot while ignoring the A-list actors.

  3. #3

    Yeah because this is totally 100% real and there's absolutely no way this was done tongue-in-cheek.

  4. #4

    i'm going to guess this is 100% bogus.

  5. #5

    This sounds like a weird crazy Tim Burton creation to me...

  6. #6

    What makes me sad is that this is fake. Sounds awesome to me - I'd pay to see it.

  7. #7

    Why does this seem almost exactly like Alice in Wonderland...? To a "T"?

  8. #8

    Actually I just heard about this on the radio, it sounds like its the real thing, but yeah it does sound similar to his rendition of Alice... Oh well it still looks cool, can't wait til it comes out!!

  9. #9

    Oh great Johnny and the Chocolate Factory sucked, then Johnny and Wonderland sucked, now whats the new suck going to be called The Johnny of Oz or The Wizard of Depp either way I'm not wasting my money to see it.

  10. #10

    Tim Burton is a hack. He needs to just stop.

  11. #11

    I wish this were happening!!! Tim Burton NEEDS to remake Wizard of Oz...but not necessarily like this. However, lets nix Winona Ryder and bring in Emma Watson as Dorothy. She is young, beautiful, and has that innocence about her that is crucial to portraying the character.

  12. #12

    Well I love Tim Burton's job so even if this film will not compare itself to the old classic I will still see it. Plus Alice did not suck, you are just jealous people! and Emma Watson can't be Dorothy if she's all grown up, plus she said it herself that she would not be following her career as an actress after Harry potter 7 pt 2 was done. :/ oh well whoever is still thinking of not going to waste money on this film well that's too bad because I love fantasy/adventure stories and love seeing them come alive in film so I will enjoy it! ;)

  13. #13

    fuck this. I hope its fake.

  14. #14

    heard about this from ryan seacrest. but was mentioned Angelina Jolie to be wicked witch

  15. Edward Cullen Scissorhands
    #15

    I heard it on ryan seacrest as well. Same thing about angelina. I have been a wizard of oz fan since birth, and a tim burton fan for almost as long. I hope there is truth to it. I think burton is a genius and I look forward to seeing what he can do with this.

  16. #16

    weed.....Tim Burton must fucking high on some other world shit....this will crash and burn just like alice in wonderland...

  17. #17

    Tim Burton is a genius. For those who can't appreciate his work just stick to the Hills and Glenn Beck.

  18. #18

    Tim Burton, /was/ a genius, until i ran out of ideas and had to start using other peoples movies and turning them too shit. He really should just stop. First Willy Wonka, then Alice in Wonderland, and now The Wizard of Oz. This guy is really destroying my child hood.

  19. #19

    until HE ran out of ideas*

  20. #20

    this is so fucking depressing.

  21. #21
  22. #22

    it is not real they whoudnt give this much plot out this early. plus look at the release date its on april fools day. im srry i wish this was true but its not.

  23. #23

    Heather - Burton has a habit of casting "edgy" actors - as well actors he has cast before. That's the main reason behind his choosing Winona Ryder. Also, Emma Watson would be too young to play the part of an "aging spinster". Her youth and innocence aren't needed here, although I adore her.
    I don't think it's true that this movie is being made, at least not in the way the article describes it.
    Tim Burton movies with Winona Ryder: Beetlejuice; Edward Scissorhands
    TB movies with Depp: Pretty much every single one
    TB movies with HBC: Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland

  24. #24

    Tim burton.is one of the best directors of all..
    people just need to stop hating on him!!
    i dont care if it would seem like a remake of Alice, it would end up being the best thing EVER!!

  25. #25

    This would totally be a great idea!!! IF it were true...Klearly it isn't. Tim Burton wouldn't be working on a projekt as HUGE as this as quickly as the Alice movie was released to own. Great Kast...Prediktable? Sure; but when you have klass A gamers on speed dial, why would you kall anyone else? Awesome Idea: still, I kall B. S.

    With Love,

    JGW

  26. #26

    I Do so hope this is real because it would be an awesome movie. I do adore Tim Burton. and my birthday is April 1st so this would be an awesome Birthday Present.

    to all the people that doubt, have some faith.

    with Love

    Miffy

  27. #27

    This says april 1 2011, Fools day? or fooling us!

  28. #28

    Yes it Says April first Japs but look it up on facebook. It's a Legit thing. It will just be a great birthday present and an even greater movie!!!!!!!

    hehe,

    Miffy

  29. #29

    Tim Burton is certainly NOT one of the best directors of all time. His movies are very predictable and annoying. Everything is the same and there's no enjoyment in watching them. People say he's very creative, but in my opinion he has very little -or no- imagination. He re-uses the same things over and over again.

    I don't think this is exactly accurate, but I have heard a lot about Tim Burton doing SOMETHING with the Wizard of Oz so I think there's some truth in it, unfortunately.

    The Wizard of Oz is supposed to be about Dorothy. Not whatever Depp ends up as. So no matter who else is cast or the actual plot, I'm almost certain that if Tim Burton does this movie, it's going to suck. Way to go, Tim Burton, just ruining some more childhoods. Guess Alice and Charlie weren't enough for you.

  30. #30

    Tim burton is a genius. I grew up watching Edward scissorhands,And it was a huge part of my life. I could relate to him. Anyway, everything else he has done is amazing. If he does this I might just die of excitement!
    And I can't wait until he does the Addams Family, which he is doing for sure :)

  31. #31

    who thinks john depp has incrimanting pics of Tim Burton and a goat. hes not that good of an actor

  32. #32

    A couple of years ago I thought it would be neat if someone made another Wizard of OZ and Alice and Wonderland. I was reading the books when I was in middle school and then I started to think that they should make a new version for my generation. Furthermore today I was watching the Wizard of Oz and then I started to think that wouldn't it be cool if Tim Burton made a newer version of the Wizard of Oz with Johnny Depp in it and Also Helena in it playing the Wicked witch. I though it was so weird that I came across this website its like deja vu.

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