Hacking IMDB: A Sneak Peek at Tim Burton’s Forthcoming Wizard of Oz
You’ve seen his Roald Dahl. You’ve seen his Lewis Carroll. Now see his L. Frank Baum!
Next year, Tim Burton will release The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy’s Relapse. Though the film’s still in preproduction, Arts Desk has obtained a rough version of its IMDB page.
The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy’s Relapse
Director: Tim Burton
Writers: Tim Burton; Henry Selick
Release Date: April 1, 2011
Genre: Action | Adventure | Fantasy
Tagline: “You’d better just forget about Kansas altogether.”
Plot: [Spoiler alert!]
The year is 2013. Dorothy (Winona Ryder), now a spinster, hopes to avoid an arranged marriage with the son of Kansas’ principal cattle magnate. Fleeing the family farm accompanied only by Toto (Andy Serkis), a three-legged mutt long in the tooth and short on hair, she stumbles upon a soothsayer (Christopher Walken), who, after endeavoring in vain to loosen her petticoat, reads her Tarot cards and tells her there is “travel and death” in her future. Dorothy agrees, but notes also that this prediction could apply to anyone. Furious, the soothsayer clubs Dorothy on the head with a pickled opossum. Upon waking, Dorothy finds herself in an alternate reality, which she remembers as ‘Oz’ but which, apparently, is known as ‘Faux Poz’ to the natives, a stunted race of depraved gamblers. After winning a pair of ruby-encrusted Manolo Blahniks in a life-sized game of roulette, Dorothy sets off in search of the Emerald City. The kindly Scarecrow (Johnny Depp), drooling only occasionally, helps navigate Dorothy through a maze of deceit, wordplay, and moral allegory. While traveling the Yellow Brick Road, now fallen into disrepair courtesy of winged, simian vandals, the two of them encounter the Lion (Ben Kingsley), whose species is now endangered and who consoles himself by playing flip-cup with the Tin Man (Hank Azaria). After a heavily opiated montage in a field full of poppies, the wanderers happen upon the Emerald City, wherein a wizard who looks suspiciously like the soothsayer maintains a stable of talking horses with thick Welsh accents. Before Dorothy can press them for their equine wisdom, the Wicked Witch of the West (Helena Bonham Carter) swoops in on a pennyfarthing, absconding with the Blahniks and swearing revenge on her sister, the White Witch of the North (Dame Judi Dench). In a final showdown under pulsing, ominous skies, the Scarecrow catches fire but is saved by the Lion’s tears, while the warring sisters settle their score in a Danny Elfman-gone-electro-pop dance-off. Weighing her options, Dorothy decides to remain in Faux Poz, spurning the cattle magnate and shacking up with the Scarecrow, with whom, presumably, she will produce unusual children.
Winona Ryder ... Dorothy Gale
Christopher Walken ... Soothsayer/Wizard of Faux Poz
Johnny Depp ... The Scarecrow
Ben Kingsley... The Lion
Hank Azaria ... The Tin Man
Dame Judi Dench ... Glinda
Helena Bonham Carter ...The Wicked Witch
Andy Serkis ... Toto
Steve Buscemi ... Cattle Magnate
Deep Roy ... Head of Lollipop Syndicate
Stephen Fry ... Horse
Willem Defoe ... Tree
Pete Postlethwaite ... Wingèd Ape