This Could Be Funny: Nothing Humorous About July 4!
Your next seven days should be filled with laughter. The following could help.
Friday, July 1: Pearl and the Beard at The Red Palace
There’s a really good stand up show at the State Theatre for only $5 that features some of D.C.’s finest, and on most nights, it would get this space, but Pearl and the Beard holds a special place in my heart. Besides putting on one of the most fun times you can have watching a three-piece, the Brooklyn trio also put a nice spin on the musical legacy of Will Smith (we are in the 11th year of his Willenium). Pearl and the Beard is able to get laughs during one song and pull tears in another. I can’t promise the band will bust your gut, but I can guarantee a smile or two. 8:30 p.m., $10, 21+.
Saturday, July 2: Raspberry Brothers present The Terminator at Arlington Draft House
Last night my friend asked me if he and his date should watch Robocop or The Terminator. I said T2 because of its progressive stance on women’s rights. He said Terminotor will have to suffice. I asked if he could compete with the former governor of California’s physique. He asked if he could compete with a robot cop. I responded that you don’t have to because no woman would ever willingly move to Detroit. He laughed. I’m pretty sure the Raspberry Brothers will have much better quips for this MSK inspired roast of James Cameron’s work. 9:30 p.m., $15, 21+.
Monday, July 4: Walk around the National Mall using the Bluebrain National Mall app
It wouldn’t surprise me if Bluebrain wrote something into this revolutionary piece of art and technology that covers this holiday. My hope is that it just says, “Go home. This day is not for you,” on repeat until you’re four blocks from the mall. Whenever, free, all-ages.
Tuesday, July 5: Rock the Grill at Austin Grill
In the continuing tradition of awful names for comedy showcases, Rock the Grill has the potential to be a good show if simply for the fact that it’s the only game in (or near) town. Independence Day weekend/week is bad for stand-up, but then again, any holiday that celebrates anything is bad for stand-up. Back to the name. Why use the word rock? It conjures up one of two things, Chris Rock, who will not be there, and an '80s hair metal tribute night. 9 p.m., 21+.
Wednesday, July 6: Ghostbusters 2 at NoMa Summer Screen
Ghostbusters 3 doesn’t need to get made. No. 2 is proof why. The movie just isn’t that great. Don’t get me wrong, it’s highly enjoyable, but that Bill Murrary is gone and he’s not coming back. We’re stuck with Lost in Translation Bill Murray who is very serious and sad. Even so, this is worth attending because whenever you hear someone under the age of 23 exclaim that this is the superior version, you’ll feel old. Also, New York City used to be a lot dirtier. 9 p.m., free, all ages.