Arts Desk

Write Your Own Government Shutdown Haiku

Write Your Own Government Shutdown Haiku

If the federal government shuts down tonight, taking the D.C. government along with it, public libraries around the District will be closed. Which means the second annual haiku contest at the Cleveland Park branch, scheduled to end tomorrow, may not go as planned! (Timed to coincide with the Cherry Blossom Festival, contest entries must be handed in person to library staffers, the entry form says. A winner is to be announced Thursday.)

Inspired by the budget fight and the sadness that must surely be sweeping Cleveland Park right now, Washington City Paper decided to run our own contest for the best haiku about the government shutdown. After the jump, take a look at some efforts by City Paper writers. Leave yours in the comments—and for the purposes of this contest, all haiku must be one line of five syllables, one line of seven, and one line of five.

Michael Grass

Drunken Hill staffers
Watching Rome burn with malaise
With no BlackBerries

Jonathan L. Fischer

Last shutdown's lesson:
Zookeepers, don't pile shit in
Parking lot. Thank you!

Lydia DePillis

Giant pandas, feh
NIH bacteria
Are dying, people!

Darrow Montgomery

Tumbleweeds on Mall
Tourists crying to be fed
To the lion's den

Alex Baca

A shutdown will be
A great revenue boost for
Museums that charge fees

I am so glad that
I live on the third story.
Smaller chance of rats!

Alan Suderman

Parking Enforcement
Didn't like you anyway
Essential? Never

Megan Arellano

It’s five-seven-five?
More like no more nine to five.
That’s not poetry.

Rend Smith

Republicans want
Cuts; we, representation
Now you know how we feel, jerks

Benjamin R. Freed

D.C. made lawless
chance to park anywhere and
say, "Take that, Zipcar."

Mike Madden

Recycling piles up,
Trash cans overflow downtown.
Feds' gift to D.C.

William F. Zeman

This haiku couldn't
Be completed because the
Legislators were...

Michael Schaffer

Garbage piling up
But red state loons are smiling
Gov'ment's off our back
Photo by sdixclifford via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution 2.0
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  • Lauren

    In case of shutdown
    No more golf lessons at
    East Potomac Park

  • Ross

    Republicans: Tools.
    Tools of the gov-hating
    Ayn Rand devotees.

  • Ross

    Republicans: Tools.
    Tools of the gov-deriding
    Ayn Rand devotees.

  • JK

    Out on the west coast,
    we federal attachés
    ask: time off for us?

  • Britt Lowney

    Dear Ol' Uncle Sam
    Please Don't Shut Down Government
    Don't Want Stocks To Tank

  • CEB

    Friday, Friday
    Government shuts down
    Rebecca Black still sings

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  • Matt

    (I wrote this Wednesday, though it's obviously out of date now.)

    Shutdown is looming;
    Oval Office meeting night.
    Boehner, Reid, and O.

...