SVETOSLAV ILCHIV AND UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN

Washington City Paper: What’s your name?
Svetoslav Ilchiv: Svetoslav Ilchiv.

How old are you?
26.

Have you heard of Marion Barry, the former mayor of Washington, D.C.?
Never. Is it a man or a woman?
Read More “Ask a European About Washington, D.C.; 4) A Bulgarian” »

Washington City Paper: Are you aware that citizens of Washington, D.C., have no vote in Congress?

British Expat: What? Why don’t they?

[Though his familiarity with British politics is limited to the lyrics of the Beatles' "A Day in the Life," your correspondent attempts to explain the D.C. voting rights debate to an Englishman using tenuous analogies in re: "Parliament" and the "House of Lords."]

BEP: Right. So they don’t want people voting twice. Like, since you control the city, you don’t get to vote again [nationally].

Well, yes…but that means that normal people—normal people like me, a lowly journalist who has no control over Congress or legislative power—can’t vote. So it’s not fair.

Greek #1: So you can’t vote.

BEP: I find it a relief.

G#1: It’s completely against the principles of democracy. All should have the right to vote. Since you live in the house of the wolf —

“In the house of the wolf?”

Read More “Ask Some Europeans About Washington, D.C.: 3) Two Dope-Smoking Thessalonikan Greeks and a British Expat” »

In which the author discusses five books he’s read, if time permitted.

1. Have a Little Faith: A True Story, by Mitch Albom.
I don’t really read “Mitch Albom,” and don’t understand “his journey,” or his “outlook,” or what he’s “about.” I do know, however, that the employees of Second Story Books in Dupont Circle refuse to buy review copies of Mitch Albom books. Now, doesn’t that kinda/sorta make you want to read them?

2. Under the Dome, by Stephen King. Since I have read every single Stephen King book, I can no longer pretend that I don’t know this book exists and won’t read it. It all started back in 1989 when my mother pointed to a shelf of classic Stephen King novels—It, The Stand, Salem’s Lot, etc.—and warned me that I was not old enough to read them. But what was in these banned books? What mysterious and curiosities lurked therein? Just a lot of gore, and sex, and run-on sentences.

Read More “Five Books I’d Read” »

Vortex with author's traveling companion

Washington City Paper: What’s your name?
Luca Vortex: Luca Vortex.

That’s not your real name. That’s a punk name.
That is how everybody knows me.

How old are you?
33.

Are you familiar with go-go music?
Read More “Ask a European About Washington, D.C.: 2) Italy” »

In which the author, who sports a Thomas Pynchon tattoo and a Wallace Stevens tattoo, recommends a blog.

There’s nothing that will kill 10-12 minutes like surfing the Internet looking at tattoo flash. Russian prison tats, sailor tats, hardcore tats, and, for gentler souls, Contrariwise, a literary tattoo blog. To be honest, I don’t care much for The Giving Tree, or Where the Wild Things Are, or too much Vonnegut, but goddamn, you’ve got to find something to do while waiting for the toner to be delivered so that, once it’s here, you can figure out for the umpteenth time how to recycle it.

FSW AND UNIDENTIFIED FRIEND

Washington City Paper: What’s your name?
Francesco [surname withheld]: Francesco [surname withheld].

How old are you?
28.

You are a young man.
I was an even younger man some years ago.

What are your thoughts about Washington, D.C.?
I have never been to Washington, D.C….but I want to live in the USA. I was living in London for 1.5 years.

Do you like hot dogs?
I love hot dogs. In London, I eat a hot dog once a week. And a Guinness.

Would you like a half-smoke?
Read More “Ask a European About Washington, D.C.: 1) Italy” »

In which the author briefly discusses five new books he’d read, if time permitted

1. Good Eats: The Early Years, by Alton Brown
I had a housemate who loved Alton Brown. Absolutely loved him. Would stay up until 2 a.m. to watch him on the Food Network. Funny thing was, this housemate was a chef. An actual, real chef, who worked at a fancy restaurant for like 10 or 12 hours and then came home to Alton Brown. I never understood that. I thought a “real” food guy would admire a “real” chef—someone I, who am not particularly interested in food, probably had never heard of—not a TV chef with a kitschy food show that was considered “for foodies” only by people who watched Rachael Ray or Top Chef and weren’t sweating it out every goddamn day in an actual gritty working kitchen somewhere. But, it turns out that this real-life chef loved this fake TV-chef more than any other real chefs he actually knew in real life. Just goes to show you: you think you’ve got life figured out, then it throws ya a curve ball.

2. Changing My Mind, by Zadie Smith
People love Zadie Smith. White Teeth, On Beauty—Zadie writes ‘em, folks buy ‘em. Unfortunately, I’ve only read The Autograph Man, which I liked, but most people hate, and I’ve heard Smith disowned. Then, I did some research and learned she actually disowned White Teeth. But I can’t keep track of who disowned what, or who likes what. I just read.

Read More “Five Books I’d Read” »

In which the author discusses the perceived relationship between economic downturns and bleak aesthetics.

Constant reader, beware of the “trend story.” Rather than say, “I had some thoughts about this not-incredibly-newsworthy subject that I thought I’d write about,” journalists say “This study was undertaken that is sorta related to something I wanted to write about, and there was no hard news to provide the platform for that subject I wanted to write about, so I’m just going to write about a perceived trend that this study points to without much reference to possible flaws in that study’s design, and certainly without mentioning that a trend story isn’t really news, unless you think ‘Extra! Extra!—There Might be a Trend!’ constitutes news,” and, lo and behold, a blog post is born.

Read More “Trend Stories, Thunk About” »

In which the author makes snide remarks about HBO’s For the People: The Election of Barack Obama

Wow, Barack Obama—what an inspiring figure. Do you remember how, against all odds, he got elected President way back in 2008? And then, despite an about-face in conventional wisdom re: the viability of Obamacare, how he jammed health-care reform (with a public option) through a groaning Congress in late 2009?

But 2010 was really unbelievable—after consolidating his political capital in an unlikely mid-term expansion of the Democratic Congressional majority, Obama made good on his promises to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and close Guantanamo. Then—who could have thought this was possible in the face of flagging support for the Afghan war—do you remember how he established a lasting peace agreement with Iran and North Korea before beating Sarah Palin in 2012 by a remarkable 20 points? I bet that, by 2016, he’ll even figure out a way to get Israel to accept a future Palestinian state and withdraw from settlements in the Golan Heights. I mean, anything can happen—who, in 2014, thought that a workable immigration bill and a marijuana legalization plan would happen a year later? It’s just like that original campaign slogan: “Yes, we can!”

Oh, right—none of this shit happened yet, but we’re celebrating anyway.

In which the author converses with Justin Gully, frontman of Las Vegas’ FunkyJahPunkys.

Washington City Paper: You seem to be called Giant J.
Giant J: I try not to answer to that name. It’s grown bigger than me. I’m 5’4”, 115 lbs. I appear large when we start doing our thing. [Author's note: "our thing" refers to the FunkyJahPunkys energetic musical performances.]

How did you earn the nickname Giant J?
Read More “The Arts Desk Interview: Giant J of FunkyJahPunkys” »