Best Excuse to Be Released From the National Zoo

It’s too noisy to have sex there
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Rusty the red panda just can’t be fenced in. Last June, he shook social media when he escaped from the National Zoo and headed for Adams Morgan. He was placed back into captivity, but Rusty apparently still wasn’t happy in his gilded prison. In 2014, he found a more creative means of escape. He met a lady to procreate with, but his finicky partner could only mate in quiet—which has been hard to come by at the zoo since Bao Bao the celebrity panda cub was born and transformed the ailuropod and ailurid area into an international spectacle. Zookeepers subsequently moved Rusty and his partner to the Smithsonian’s Conservation Biology Institute in Front Royal, Va., so they could get at it in peace and quiet. Officials say it’s impossible for Rusty to escape from his new digs—but with tranquility and his lady there, why would he want to?
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