Best Place to Be a Woman

1824 Half St. SW, (202) 863-0670
Website @secretsdc on Twitter
Secrets, the all-nude gay club near Nationals Park, is a magical place where women’s lib takes on a whole new meaning. There, we ladies are free to ogle naked men who are completely uninterested in us. Unlike most places on Earth, Secrets is a locale where there is a very slim chance that women will be hit on, sexually harassed, or leered at. (To be sure, bachelorette parties and skimpy tippers still risk the stink eye, but it beats the alternative.) Plus: The club offers a crash course in male anatomy. Its dancers aren’t all pornographically hung—some are just, you know, like your high-school boyfriend. Otters, cubs, twinks, twunks—they’re all here, kind of like the “It’s a Small World” boat ride at Fantasyland, but for penises.