Bade Pool at Spa World
13830-A10 Braddock Road, Centreville, Va.; (703) 815-8959
Spa World, Centerville’s 50,000-square-foot Korean spa, houses the area’s most elaborate tub. The center’s Bade Pool consists of nine discrete areas—the Basher Wall, Dream Bath, Bench Jet, Hydro Jet, Wave Jet, Esthe, Neck Shower, Floating, and Bubble Jet—each equipped with jet formations tailored to your wildest water-revitalization conspiracy theories. Sleepy? Sink into the Bench Jet, where a set of nozzles will work at “recovering fatigue.” Fat? Spend five minutes each on the Hydro Jet and Wave Jet, a combo Spa World claims “accelerates metabolism” and “enhances the diet effect.” Impure? The Bubble Jet promises to “inflict fine vibration to the body cells,” sending supersonic waves to flush out all your “skin impurities.” Old? The Esthe is equipped with enough water pressure to achieve “revitalization of subcutaneous tissue.” Old and fat? The Esthe also “consumes high calories.” Too young, thin, and beautiful? Gorge on dumplings at the Spa World cafeteria.