Best Strip Club Excuse

Best: “I was working late.”
2nd Best: “I was at Fast Eddie’s.”
Miss dinner again? Tell her you were humoring a business client while picking at the fried appetizers at Fast Eddie’s over a couple of lousy beers. Really, you were eating up the sight beneath Tabbitha’s G-string in all its soft-lit, full-length-mirrored glory. The mandatory beers, at least, were real. Located at 1520 K St. NW, Fast Eddie’s sports bar is just a quick jaunt for many of D.C.’s highest-powered 9-to-5’ers. Slip inside here first. Take a look at the menu. Note the game on the screen. Don’t order anything. From there, Archibald’s strip club is just a dark staircase away—though not dark enough to dull the glint from the ring fingers of many of the strip club’s best clients. Fast Eddie’s television-lined bar and video blackjack screen can’t rival Archibald’s happy-hour entertainment, where a close ratio of female employees to male patrons might be just enough to make you forget the woman waiting for you at home. Just don’t forget where you were supposed to be. If your Archibald’s experience leaves you frustrated, D.C.’s historic prostitution center is just blocks away. It won’t be hard to find. If the Missus asks where you’ve been, just tell her: “Honey, I was at Archibald’s.”