Best Place to Access Your Inner 13-Year-Old

Beauty Island
(202) 265-2265

Reasons not to access your inner 13-year-old: You will have to relearn all state capitals before seventh-period Social Studies; Bobby still doesn’t know your name; Mom won’t let you wear makeup because she wants to ruin your life. Reasons to access your inner 13-year-old: The Internet now learns things for you; Bobby’s totally dumb; you can buy all the accessories Mom swore off, at prices well within your allowance, at Beauty Island. With its array of multicolored fishnet tights, sparkly lip glosses, colored contacts, wigs, and, of course, thongs, the Columbia Road and 18th Street NW low-cost paradise serves as a year-round vacation spot for those who wish to wear their “slutty” Halloween costumes well into the New Year. And while most middle schoolers didn’t covet butt boosters to shield their tushes from the hard plastic of their desks, Beauty Island’s got those, too, at only $14.99 per enhanced ass.

advertisement
...