The National Zoo expects to earn $5 million in merchandise sales this year, thanks in large part to Bao Bao, the baby panda born to endless fanfare last year. That’s especially impressive considering that baby pandas sleep about 20 hours a day—a fact only vaguely alluded to by the motionless stuffed pandas sold onsite. Luckily, Right Proper Brewing Company, a new brewpub next to the Howard Theatre, has captured what most of us imagine pandas doing when no one’s watching: beating each other up in front of the Washington Monument. Giant dueling pandas—plus foxes, laserbeam-upgraded squirrels, and various others critters—are featured prominently in chalk artist Patrick Owens’ mural
, which portrays the cuddliest conceivable apocalypse, in which no D.C. landmark is safe. Sadly, it’s far more exciting than anything the pandas ever do at the National Zoo.