The question of D.C.’s best strip club can be summarized thusly: Ass? Perhaps M Street’s Camelot shoots too high with its storied kingdom namesake; with both joints offering no cover charge, attractive strippers, and a friendly staff, Camelot could well be called the white House. Though Camelot offers up two floors to the House’s one, and the House’s interior tends to interpret “red light district” more literally, the most noticeable difference between the family-owned House and the “Woman & Vietnam Veteran Owned” Camelot lies in the ladies’ hip measurements: If you like big butts, head to the House; if you’re interested in more subtle assets (subtle for strip clubs, anyway), ride on to Camelot.

—Amanda Hess