Nobel Son Directed by Randall Miller Save Me Directed by Robert Cary A quirky science prof and a self-loathing gay man lead two oddly conflicted films.

Hymn and Her: Save Me awkwardly sings the praises of tolerance.

When you hear that Alan Rickman is starring in something called Nobel Son, you imagine something grandiose—a period piece perhaps, a tale undoubtedly full of intrigue and threaded with themes of loyalty, self-sacrifice, and honor. Or you note the title’s spelling and figure it’s about a guy who wins the Nobel Prize, and that at least one or two of the above descriptors apply anyway.

Alas, though the real Nobel Son does peripherally involve a prizewinner, the film not only lacks honor, it’s an undignified mess that should embarrass Rickman and everyone else involved. From its very beginning, writer-director Randall Miller strains to be edgy: With techno music pounding in the background, the narration starts with, God help us, a quote from a 16th-century French philosopher. “I think there is more barbarity in eating a man alive than in eating him dead,” our protagonist, Barkley (Bryan Greenberg), parrots, further going on about the “psychology of depravity” and how he’s always been drawn to bad guys, as we watch someone get robbed and mutilated by an unknown assailant.

Cut to Barkley’s chemistry-professor father, Eli (Rickman), screwing a student on a desk, and his forensic-psychologist mother, Sarah (Mary Steenburgen), talking depravity herself in a class for investigators. We learn that Barkley is a dirt-poor Ph.D student, studying anthropology with a specialty in cannibalism. We catch a random scene of some mechanic, with title letters labeling him thaddeus james, autodidact. There are whooshes, blurred action, fast edits. And always: thump thump thump thump.

Give Nobel Son five minutes and you’ll guess that it was made by a first-time filmmaker, likely a recent grad. Sit through its entirety, the plot and execution getting increasingly ridiculous, and you’ll be sure of it. But Miller isn’t a novice director—just a particularly bad one, with gems such as 1995’s Sinbad-starring Houseguest and 2005’s syrupy Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School to his name. Miller’s wife, Jody Savin, who helped him write the latter, also gets a screenwriting credit here.

This could have been an entertainingly bad thriller if it weren’t trying so damn hard. The cast is made up of actors most people take somewhat seriously—Eliza Dushku, Danny DeVito, and Bill Pullman also have roles—so when you see, for example, Rickman’s unrealistically arrogant Nobel winner lifting an ass cheek to let out some gas or Dushku’s poet/big ball of need writhing and babbling like a farther-gone Elizabeth Wurtzel, it’s a distraction. Their characters’ cartoonishness is mirrored in the plot, which is somewhat compelling at the beginning as Shawn Hatosy’s Thaddeus stalks and kidnaps Barkley (turns out it’s personal). But then Thaddeus’ straightforward attempt to nab a $2 million ransom from Eli gets bogged down with too many twists and terrible edits to make much sense. And the thump thump thump thump, part of it courtesy of the Chemical Brothers, never, ever lets up.

What does cannibalism and that 16th-century philosopher have to do with any of this? The connection is tenuous at best, but it has something to do with the fact that Eli’s a jerk. His Nobel comes with an asterisk, he treats his family and associates like trash, and eventually all the people around him want their comeuppance. Make sense? I didn’t think so, either.

Save Me Directed by Robert Cary

If Nobel Son is a cartoon, Save Me is a movie of the week—and actually could have used a little villainy to boost it. During Robert Cary’s film about a Christian ministry that tries to pray homosexuals straight, you keep waiting for some comeuppance, an indication that the director and his screenwriter (Robert Desiderio, making his debut) believe that the self-appointed saviors of the story are doing harm. Its ending does preach a message of tolerance—but more toward those who believe gays will burn in hell than for people of alternative sexualities themselves.

Save Me focuses on Mark (Chad Allen), a hustler and addict who’s checked in to Genesis House, a center to cure the “gay affliction,” by his family when he’s found passed out in a motel. The home is run by Gayle (Judith Light) and Ted (Stephen Lang), husband and wife who both believe that Jesus and heterosexuality are the keys to a good life. Gayle’s dedication to the cause is a little more intense: She kicked out her teenage son when he came out of the closet and soon lost him to drugs. The lesson she learned? That she should love others the way she failed to love her son—which is good! And that the way to do so is to make them see the sinfulness of their nature—which is pretty bad.

Mark reminds Gayle of her son, so she takes a particular interest in turning him around. Mark naturally rebels at first, as would anyone who was sent to live under the ministry’s cultlike rules. Caffeine and nicotine are banned, long hair is frowned upon—even the color of the pinstripes on one resident’s shirt is questioned. (He says it’s red; it’s clear Gayle is thinking pink.) So when Mark suddenly proclaims the place and his deprogrammers “good”—his change in attitude apparently coming after one lousy afternoon of shopping and milkshakes with Gayle—it’s hard to buy. Especially considering his deepening friendship and increased physical contact with Scott (Queer as Folk’s Robert Gant), an older resident whose dying father tells him he’s so proud that Scott “beat the devil.”

Save Me’s weakness is its undercooked script, which takes leaps with character development and, for too long, seems to side with Judith and Ted. The story achieves a nice momentum when it eventually focuses on Mark and Scott’s relationship and their own conflict about living up to other people’s idea of what’s right. The actors have believable chemistry, too, and the combination briefly elevates the film into a low-budget Brokeback Mountain. A be-true-to-yourself message prevails, one that can be safely stretched to it’s-OK-to-be-gay. But the film never definitely takes the stand that homosexuals can’t be “converted,” nor condemns the people who think such a denial of self is the only way to live a respectable life. If only the story more assuredly portrayed that it’s Gayle who needs a little saving, it might have saved itself.

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