Death By 91 Cuts The real scandal behind the murder of Homaira Rahman: She had been dating

Joel Kimmel

On the balmy evening of July 3, 2008, three young women met in the stands of a soccer stadium in Woodbridge, Va. They were there to watch a preliminary match in the 2008 Afghan Cup, an annual event that draws hundreds of Afghan-Americans to the Virginia exurbs for a weekend of sports and music. The three friends, who all grew up in Northern Virginia, were waiting for one more to complete their group. Homaira Rahman, a tall, pretty 25-year-old, arrived around 9 p.m. She was her usual bubbly self.

Within half an hour, Rahman’s phone rang. It was Ehsan Amin, a man she had dated off and on for about two years. She had recently tried to finally, completely end contact with him. But his calls never stopped. This time, as usual, he wanted to know where she was. Rahman took the call and tried to be brief. She told him she was at the soccer game with friends, no big deal. She hung up. He called back. Again and again. Each time the phone rang, Rahman got more distressed. He was threatening her again, she said. Her friends were exasperated and worried. Amin’s bullying was an old source of anxiety.

When he called again, Zarlacht Osmanzoi, 19, asked Rahman to hand over the phone. “I was like, ‘Give it to me, I’m going to talk to him,’” Osmanzoi said two months later, in a courtroom. She told Amin that everything was fine. Rahman was with the girls. He said: “I don’t give a fuck who you are. Give the phone back to Homaira.”

Amin was in a rage. He threatened to hurt Rahman, and just as frightening, he had driven to her parents’ home in Vienna and said he was prepared to go inside and tell Sohail and Jamila Rahman about their relationship. Rahman begged him not to do it. Like many Afghan immigrants, Rahman’s parents did not approve of their daughter dating. She told Amin to go back to Woodbridge, were he lived with relatives.

Rahman’s friends thought they’d seen the last of these tantrums. She had finally dumped Amin, with no possibility of friendship, about three months before. But that night at the soccer game, they realized he wasn’t going to quit. “That’s when we all decided we needed to take serious action,” says a friend, who asked that her name not be used. “I said, ‘Listen. This is not the end. We need to fix it.’” The police wouldn’t do, stirring up too much attention and perhaps just making him more angry. Perhaps, they thought, they could report him to immigration authorities, since Rahman knew he was in the country illegally.

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After the game, Rahman called Amin’s house and got word that he was headed home. Convinced the moment of danger had passed, she got into her car, still crying. Her friends told her they’d figure out what to do in the morning. “I thought, the most he’ll do is go and tell her parents,” the friend says. “I would not just let her go home.” She called Rahman from the road. “Everything is fine,” she said.

Rahman and Amin were both part of the 20,000-strong Afghan community in Northern Virginia, but their origins couldn’t have been more different. She was born in this country, had graduated from George Mason University in 2005, and had a good job in human services at Chevy Chase Bank in Tyson’s Corner. Like many unmarried Afghan-American women, Rahman continued to live in her parents’ home after graduation. Since she paid no rent, she could spend most of what she made. And although friends and family nagged her to save, she indulged her material desires, buying closets full of designer clothes and gaining a reputation as a fashionista who never wore the same outfit twice. She joked that Tyson’s Corner was her second home.

Amin had been in the States only a few years. He had entered the United States legally, possibly by virtue of a marriage confirmed by friends and law-enforcement sources, but the terms of his welcome had expired. Even Rahman knew he used an alias. His real name was Ajmal Hashemi.

Rahman had taken note of Amin’s handsome features when she first saw him waiting tables at the Afghan Kabob Restaurant in Springfield. Sparks flew, and she told her friends she thought their server was cute. Rahman’s interest in romance thrilled her friends. Rahman was shy and had never had a boyfriend. “For us it was, ‘Oh, finally! She finally thinks someone’s cute,’” a friend says.

An aunt, who was less conservative than Rahman’s parents, knew Amin and offered to set them up, according to a friend. It took several weeks, but pretty soon a romance blossomed. They were as much of a couple as they could be without telling Rahman’s parents or many of their friends or relatives. Amin’s career prospects improved soon as well. He got a job selling used cars at Autoquest of Stafford.

Joel Kimmel

But the relationship quickly became dysfunctional, according to friends. (Family members say they are not convinced Rahman and Amin actually dated.) Amin, who seemed sweet and introspective at first, lost his temper if he didn’t know where Rahman was and who she was with. If she went out to clubs in D.C., he’d call before 11 p.m. and convince her to head back to Virginia. Rahman told her friends he went out without her and lied about his own activities.

Rahman was not entirely open about the details of her relationsh ip. She spoke about Amin in oblique terms, hinting that she wanted to move on but couldn’t quite make that happen. Whenever his calls interrupted shopping trips at the mall or outings in D.C., Rahman would wander away to answer the phone and return distraught.

On several occasions, friends say, Rahman broke up with Amin, but she never totally severed contact. “He just would somehow come back into her life,” says one friend. “I guess he just made her believe that no one else could love her like he did.” Whenever she dumped him, he’d shower her with perfume and flowers the next day. A friend says he acted like most players who “yell at their girlfriend, treat them like shit and then the next day buy her flowers.” Osmanzoi, testifying in court, said she’d seen Rahman and Amin together and happy just six months ago, when the three of them went out for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory in Tyson’s Corner.

Still, friends urged Rahman to end things. “There was no trust at all,” one says. “I asked her, ‘Where do you think this is going?’” When Rahman finally cut off contact with Amin, she says, “I was very relieved.…Little did I know.”

Sometime before midnight on July 3, Mary Just pulled onto Litwalton Court in Vienna and saw Rahman, her neighbor, standing in the street with a man. Rahman looked distressed and waved at Just as if she needed help. The man, whom she didn’t recognize, had his hand around Rahman’s upper arm. Just pulled into her driveway, got out and walked over to a friend who had arrived first in another car. “Do you think we should go check on that couple?” she asked. “What couple?” her friend said. When she turned to look, Rahman and the man had vanished.

The next morning, a man walking half a mile from Rahman’s home discovered her body lying in a pool of blood on a sidewalk. She’d been stabbed 91 times and beaten around the face. There were bite marks on her arm. Her purse and a broken pair of scissors lay on the concrete.

Fairfax Police Detective Steve Shillingford got the page at 7:45 a.m. At the crime scene half an hour later, he identified Rahman from the driver’s license in her purse. But there were few other clues to work from. Her parents knew nothing about her relationship with Amin, or his threats.

Shillingford realized that Rahman’s cell phone was missing and arranged for a “forced dump,” allowing police to collect data sent to or from her line. One number showed up again and again. It was a land line connected to a home in Woodbridge. Shillingford and his partner drove to the house and spoke with a man who told them that his cousin, Ehsan Amin, had been in a car accident and was being treated at Inova Fairfax Hospital. The detectives drove to the emergency room where they found Amin asleep on a gurney in triage.

Joel Kimmel

According to Virginia State Police, Amin had caused a three-car collision on I-495 early that morning—probably less than an hour after Rahman’s neighbor saw her standing on the street. At 12:06 a.m. on July 4, a 2006 Mercedes E350 lost control on an exit ramp at the Springfield interchange and sideswiped a Honda Civic. The Mercedes then veered into a 2001 Lincoln Navigator, forcing it off the road. The Mercedes didn’t stop. It careered off the road to the left, hitting the guardrail and crossing back over the southbound lanes of traffic. The car finally came to a rest after colliding with the Jersey wall on the right side of the road. The driver fled on foot. Police traced the Mercedes to the Stafford dealership where Amin worked.

It’s unclear how Amin ended up at the hospital, but by the time homicide detectives arrived around 2 p.m., he had already been charged with reckless driving and felony hit-and-run. He was in bad shape. In addition to a slash wound on his throat, later determined to be self-inflicted, he had cuts on the fingers of his right hand, an injury police believe was allegedly caused when his hand slipped down the blood-coated scissors he used to stab Rahman. Doctors had cleared him to leave, pending an evaluation in the psych ward, which might not have fared well. Amin told hospital staff that he’d broken up with his girlfriend and wanted to kill himself.

An attendant wheeled the bandaged suspect into a private room. Shillingford introduced himself and placed a small recorder on the gurney.

Amin started talking. “Something bad happened,” he said, repeating it again and again. “Something bad happened.”

He went on: “I think I beat my girlfriend,” he said. “I didn’t mean to do it. I loved her so much.” He told the detective he’d been drinking when it happened.

Shillingford didn’t place Amin under arrest, not just yet, but he did read him his rights. Then he got to the point: Did you stab your girlfriend?

Amin responded, “With what?”

“That’s what I’m asking you,” the detective said.

“Well, she had some scissors,” Amin said.

It was enough to convince Shillingford, who placed Amin under arrest. He was charged with first-degree murder. If convicted, he stands to serve 20 years to life in prison, after which immigration officials would seek to have him deported.

Amin’s trial promises to reveal many details about the crime and the relationship between Amin and Rahman, details she had carefully hidden from her family and many friends. Rahman’s loved ones are bracing for their community’s reaction to a public airing of a very private relationship. One relative told me that gossip, and the subsequent pain and humiliation, would hurt her family as much as the murder itself.

Within hours of Amin’s arrest, speculation about the crime began erupting on local message boards and online Afghan forums. The posts included cruel rumors and criticism of everyone involved: Rahman, her friends and family, and Amin. Anonymous writers suggested that Rahman deserved what she got because she had abandoned tradition. If her parents had allowed her to date, others asked, might she have been comfortable enough to tell them she was in trouble? When several women spoke up about the dating difficulties of Afghan-American women, they became the subjects of personal attacks themselves.

Rahman’s friends and family have tried to counter the vitriol on the Internet by sharing stories of a young woman who strived to fulfill the expectations of two cultures.

Rahman’s generation of young, prosperous Afghan-Americans led busy social lives that served to preserve their culture and, at the same time, break down many old conventions. The Afghan Student Association at George Mason, which Rahman helped start, opened the door to mixed-gender outings that would have been impossible a decade ago. Rahman and her friends went clubbing in D.C., even though many of them didn’t drink, and attended concerts given by Afghan pop singers in hotels in suburban Virginia.

At a memorial service at George Mason in July, which drew a crowd of several hundred, Rahman’s friends and relatives took turns at the mic. Her girlfriends, clutching loose, unfamiliar head scarves, talked about “Homy’s” unending positive attitude, her giving nature. “She taught each one of us a powerful lesson,” one cousin said, quoting from Rahman’s Facebook page: “Live each day to the fullest, for tomorrow may never come.”

Homayun Yaqub spoke of growing up in Vienna with Rahman, who was his cousin but always felt more like a sister. Their parents had moved to Virginia in the 1980s, following the 1979 Russian invasion. They were educated and had the means to afford relocation but still struggled, working long hours at low-paying jobs so their kids could have a chance. Rahman’s generation took on the next challenge: assimilating to American culture while preserving their ethnic identity. Rahman and her cousins would speak English, not Farsi, when they hung out together, Yaqub said. But they still went to mosque and attended the countless engagement parties, weddings, and funerals that brought the community together.

Rahman’s taste for nice things reflected the importance of prosperity in the Afghan-American community. Every time I ask about her parents, people tell me her father is a successful businessman. Sohail Rahman did indeed provide well for his family, and he did it driving a cab.

Yaqub remembered seeing Rahman after he returned from an overseas assignment with the Army. His goofy little cousin had grown into a striking young woman who stood taller, in stiletto heels, than most men in the family. He called her “Stretch.”

While family members often scolded Rahman for her spendthrift ways, at the memorial her extravagance became a virtue. Yaqub recalled chastising her for spending $250 on a Dior bracelet when she could have purchased a knockoff for $10. “But it’s not the real thing,” she said, and that was that. When her grandmother fell ill for the last time, Rahman hurried to the hospital everyday after work with gifts of candy and perfume. Again, family members lectured about the excess, but Yaqub says Rahman had been right to do it. The attention made a dying woman happy.

“She was the wiser of the both of us,” he said.

The last to speak was an aunt from California, who walked slowly across the stage, her head wrapped tightly in a shawl. She spoke of the Quran’s instructions, written 1,400 years ago, for how women should dress. “God knew what the condition of the world would be like 1,400 years from then” she said. He spelled out “boundaries for women not to cross and that was for the safety of women.” She told the audience to read a page of the Quran every day. “That’s what’s going to help you, not the material life.” She worried that the American obsession with individuality would erode the Afghan community’s sense of collective identity.

Many Afghan-Americans I spoke with described their community, somewhat lovingly, as a network connected by gossip and judgment. While many things have changed, reputation and family name hold a powerful sway over individual lives. If a young woman gets a bad reputation—for dating openly or showing too much skin—her parents will share the blame for her behavior. Both young adults and parents I spoke with said the best option is often something like don’t ask, don’t tell, only vaguer. It might be acceptable to go to dinner with a young man; going out to dinner with a different man the next week could spell trouble.

Since dating is considered taboo in most households, especially for young women, most romances spring out of friendships that develop in public settings, like school or social gatherings. Lately, the Internet has provided an opportunity for unsupervised exploration, but even then, face-to-face meetings are carefully planned.

Ameena Kazem, 27, a friend of Rahman’s, says views about dating and gender roles have changed drastically just within the last five years. “The dynamic of the entire community has changed,” she says. “It’s very common now to see groups of girls and guys together. There are more independent women. Friends know who’s dating who. It used to be more hush-hush.”

Parents have been slow to accept the changes brought by their children, Kazem says, because their life experiences are so vastly different. “They grew up and got married in their teens. There was no dating involved,” she says. Add to that the importance of reputation, and parents become very fearful of sanctioning change. “Public embarrassment,” Kazem says. “That’s what it comes down to.”

“It’s a cultural thing,” says Yama Azami, who helped start the student association at Mason with Rahman. “To be honest with you…it’s unfortunate…most of the stuff that happens is kind of hidden.” The stigma against dating, he says, does not apply across the board. “It’s OK for guys but it’s not OK for girls,” he says.

Azami says the solution is not simple. Even if Rahman’s parents had given her permission to date, she may not have been comfortable with that freedom or the social implications of blatantly challenging the rules.

At a preliminary hearing on Sept. 3, Amin’s defense attorney, Peter Greenspun, argued that the prosecution’s case relied on speculation and that the evidence did not point to premeditated murder. “This man cared for her,” he said. No one could say who started what on the night of July 3, he said. “You can say who ended it perhaps,” he said, but the evidence supported “manslaughter, at worst.”

Amin turned around just once during the hearing, looking over his shoulder at the two groups of family and friends, his and hers, on opposite sides of the courtroom. A frown drew deep, triangular creases in his face. At the end, as his people walked out in silence, a woman from the other side said aloud, “He’ll pay for this.”

Outside in the hallway, a group of Amin’s friends stood waiting for Greenspun. They said they couldn’t talk about the case, but told me to remember that every story has two sides. “The truth will come out,” one said.

Weeks later, I get a call from a friend of Amin’s in the middle of the night. He tells me his friend is not a monster. He loved Rahman and wanted her to be his wife. She should have gone to her parents, the friend says, and told them that Amin was the man she wanted to marry. The friend says Islam dictates one man for each woman; Rahman chose Amin as her one man by choosing to spend time with him romantically. He knows Americans have a different take on what dating means. But, he says, “We are Afghans.” On the night of the murder, Amin asked him if he wanted to go to the soccer game. “If I had gone,” he says, “this never would have happened.”

Our Readers Say

This is what happens when an ancient, outmoded culture comes to America. They should take all their third world crap back to where they came from. Why did they come to America? To escape the Russians? Why didn't they stay in Afghanistan and improve their own country instead of coming to America and causing social confusion. We don't need this.
I hope this sad and sobering story will instill an important fact that applies to ALL women (regardless of cultural background).....CONTROLLING MEN ARE DETRIMENTAL. It's NOT love! It's sick.
FRANK. You're an ignorant asshole. Cause if your English/French/German ancestors never left their prospective country you probably would have never existed. That might have actually been a good thing.

Just because your uneducated ass cannot comprehend a culture unlike yours that exists of promiscuous sex and a 50% divorce rate doesn't mean everyone can't.

Someone died you fucktard and you're blaming Who exactly? It's people like you that america is a ashamed of. It's people like Homaira we only wished we had more of to replace you with.
Please understand violence against women has not cultural boundaries. It exists in every town, city and state in this country. This article focused too much on the woman's so called 'lavish' lifestyle and not enough on how this type of violence against women can be prevented since the signs were apparent early on. It’s a tragic death which I truly believe could have been prevented.
This is senseless. The world has lost a precious soul. My condolences to Rahman's friends and family. No one should loose their child this way. she was taken by a man who doesn't understand love, who wasn't supposed to be here, and has scarred a culture. Thank you for telling a story that unfortunately needed to be told. About the Afghan culture, and about a young woman who is gone to soon.
Hey, Frank: Where were your ancestors from? I'd be you have some from Ireland, Italy, or Germany. I got news for you: Those cultures are just as ancient and were just as weird to the people living here when those groups arrived.

Wherever your ancestors were from, you can bet they were escaping from something. Usually poverty or violence. People don't leave their home country to come to a hostile, unfamiliar place because they want to. Seriously, man--do you have no compassion at all? What would Jesus do? Does the parable of the Good Samaritan mean nothing to you?

And this girl was actually born here, not that it matters. She was the one trying to assimilate. It was her asshole boyfriend who was at fault. You wanna be angry, be angry at him.

You say theirs is an outmoded culture that doesn't fit in? We have plenty of those already here: the Amish, the Menonites, the Mormons, the Orthodox Jews, the evangelical Christians. All those groups are just as conservative as Muslims. I don't agree with their strict values (as in no dating), but it's a free country! You wanna tell your kid they can't date till they're outta the house? We allow that!

It's one thing to be angry at "honor killing"--we all are. But next time, think before directing your anger at innocent people. One of these days, someone from an "ancient, outmoded culture" is going to be operating on you or otherwise saving your sorry ass.
TO FRANK:

In case your pea size brain does not know, you as an American and taxpayer should take responsibility for the Afghan Diaspora. If it was not for the cold war, Afghans would not have left Afghanistan. Do you really think a doctor, engineer or any other Afghan would have left their homeland only to come to US to flip burgers and drive a cab? Do you really believe that respected Mr. Rahman and like him so many other Afghan- Americans, were actually driving a cab back home? The Afghan community in US had leave behind their social status, wealth, passion, professional careers, and homeland because of war fought by US and USS in which my homeland became the battleground.

I like many other Afghans are blessed to come out of Afghanistan alive and to be able to live in the US. Our experience in the US might have been hard and difficult; nevertheless, this is our second home now. From where I come from, people like Frank are referred to as backward, ill minded, and considered danger mind. Somehow, I don't see much difference between your pea size brain and the bastard Amin's.

One last note: Our history and culture is over 4,000 years old, that should be enough reasons for you respect it and know that with age comes experience and knowledge.
What a sad story. Thank you Angela for doing a meaningful story that is prevalent to the DC community. City Paper needs more stories with compassion and the facts. This is a great example of smart reporting.

The Afghan people are here for a better life and they usually take crummy jobs to achieve the american dream. I applaud all those who come here to live life and be legal immigrants.
How sad and tragic. A young woman unable to live her llife in peace and happiness.

However, this did not happen in a vaccuum. It is *ISLAMIC* culture that created this mindset of killing a woman for dating. The same culture that promotes genital mutilation, prohibits women's education, even prohibits women from driving!

City Paper--you are cowards for never writing the words "Islam" or "Muslim" in this article.

Spare the blah...blah...blah about what wonderful things the Koran says--it has contributed to the mental slavery that hundreds of millions are in. I know not all muslim culture teaches this, but don't pretend this is an abberation. And spare me the comments on American culture--I know it's not perfect.
Regardless of 'culture', women aren't indentured servants to be controlled and handled.

A real man doesn't have to force a woman to do anything. Instead, he can help her achieve and progress and prosper if needed. If not, she can do all that on her own.

They aren't puppets or puppies...these cultural 'rights' just highlight the cowardice in men.

A woman isn't yours because YOU say; it's because SHE says...
To Steven in DC:

I suppose this is the teachings of Christianity? My apologizes to the fellow Christians, but I had to make my point about Steven's remarks about Islam.


Pregnant Soldier Found Dead in North Carolina Motel
Posted Jun 25, 08 4:09 AM CDT in US, Crime & Courts

(Newser) – Authorities are investigating the suspicious death of a pregnant soldier found in a North Carolina motel. Dental specialist Megan Lynn Touma, 23, of Kentucky arrived at nearby Fort Bragg only two weeks ago. She was seven months pregnant. Earlier this year, pregnant Marine Lance Cpl. Maria Lauterbach was found dead in her boyfriend's North Carolina backyard. He was charged with her murder after he was apprehended in Mexico.
Steve in DC

It is people like you who make people think Islam is a bad religion filled with bad people. It is not ISLAM that prohibits Woman from going to school or driving, it is the parents that are not educated and know what goes on in this world. I dont agree with that but a lot of different cultures have a lot of the same traits. If you read an article about a Christian family that did the same thing would you blame Christains for it? I dont think so! Why dont you read the Quran first and than comment on it. In the Quran it says everyone is equal and guys should not abusive their wife. Get your facts straight before you make your comments. This poor girl did not deserve any of this it was just a crazy guy she fell for...May she rest in peace!
Frank,

The only thing that is ancient and outmoded is your type of thinking. People like you are the ones that cause social chaos, hate and confusion. Get a grip.
Really great story Angela. Its a really tough role for the American born children of Afghan immigrants to bridge the gap between tradition and our modern culture. Keep up the good work.
Steve in DC: You are confusing two things: the religion, Islam (like Christianity) comprises a wide range of beliefs and practices on things like women's rights. Take Indonesia: Several of the cabinet ministers are women. Women drive there. Same with Bahrain, UAE, Jordan, Lebanon, and Turkey. Even Iraq was, in its public sphere, very secular before the US invasion (which is one reason al Qaeda was no fan of Saddam--but I digress).

My understanding of Afghanistan (which is limited) is that their culture is in fact more conservative--even before the Taliban took over. But this murder was the act of a jealous, obsessive ex-boyfriend. This happens within the Christian and Jewish cultures, too. David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz was Jewish; do you think his culture is what pushed him into what he did? Come on.

I'm a Christian, and actually think that *evangelical* Christianity sows a lot of violence. Think about Matthew Sheppard (the gay guy who was murdered in Wyoming 10 years ago). His murderers were assuredly part of the rural, arch conservative subculture that espouses Christian fundamentlism yet justifies attacks on gays and abortion clinics (in the case of Eric Rudolph). Does this mean that more moderate Christians are to blame for those crimes, OK City, My Lai, Haditha, etc? Of course not. Correlation does not equal causation.

I'm glad Afghans are here. I welcome them--as do most literate, reasonable Americans. And we owe them a debt; in the 1980s, the US (through Sen. Charlie Wilson) funded and armed the Taliban, who ended up destroying Afghanistan and training the 9/11 attackers.

Let's all wish for peace for the victim's family in this difficult time.
To VA:

You actually make my point. *NO* Christian would condone the murder by the soldier, and no Christian would teach that it was acceptable. However, there are large numbers of Muslims (no, not all) who believe in "honor" (sic) killings. Open your eyes--this has happened in the past year in Texas and Michigan!

To Homaira:

I would not say that Islam is a bad religion. What it is is a religion that cannot tolerate others living their own lives! The Muslim world has largely (again, not totally) devolved into a backward, intolerent culture. The tragedy is that 1,000 years ago it was the most progressive, educated culture in the world. I've read the Koran--one can find a saying in it to support anything! It also says that it is the duty of Muslims to kill Jews and non-Muslims. You read it--it's there!
To Angela: thank you for taking the time to investigate this further and give everyone a perspective on what happened.Im glad this was not forgotten...there is a lesson to be learned from this...

To Nikki, John B and Afghan: thank you for showing Frankie the difference between an competent american vs the dumb ass that he truly is. Unfortunately Dumb Frankie is the EPITOME of what we call a STUPID AMERICAN that unfortunately still walk the streets of America today in the 21st century. The ones who know nothing about culture or history...even their own except for what they watch on TMZ or ET. The ones who simply know how to talk shit and show anger based on no knowledge of anything. The ones who dont realize that America was built by every single immigrant that set foot in this country, even his own ancestors...and yet those same immigrants continue to build this country . Why do you think we are as successful, because we recruit some of the smartest people from all over the world--like the middle east, asia, africa and europe with their ideas and innovations....so whether Muslim, Jew, Christian, Hindu, or Atheist...they all got their hands dirty to help build this country and make it as free as it stands today...if anyone should talk its the native americans which i doubt Little Frankie boy even has an ounce of that.Shame on you Frank..truly a shame...no wonder the rest of the world hates us and looks down on us...its thanks to ppl like you who mis represent america and what it stands for.
To Steve in DC---please dont waste your time talking about something you have absolultely no clue about! Its true what Homaira says...and maybe you ought to read the Quran before you open up that smart ass mouth again...the truth is Stevie boy that its not Islam or the Quran thats the problem...its the people who interpret the peaceful religion to their own needs and wants...but thats another story..

My condolences go out to the family of Homaira Rahman...may her soul rest in peace...it truly is a great loss of life. It is a shame that a young beautiful girl born and raised in this country works her way through life trying to both keep the balance between culture and traditons of afghanistan and still live the american life. It is a sadness to see that our afghans coninuously focus so much on the gossip and judgements of others that they place their children in a box full of burdens....carrying on the family name and reputation for an afghan girl is a heavy and unfair burden. We dont realize this as a community but it is for the girls mentally and emotionally. It drives them to secrecy and fear in which bad things arise such as this. This could have been prevented with the proper support system not just from family but community as a whole. If some things werent such a major taboo, this would have never happened. Its an unfair double standard that we might want to reconsider...whats more important, our childrens lives --happiness and success? or the family name and the reputation for the commuinity?...the truth is that no matter how hard you try to live you life a certain way...people will talk whether you are good or bad...someone always has something to say...so why bother...our focus is in the wrong places when it comes to our kids...we focus so harshly on men, women and sex that we forget the more important aspects of raising kids and making sure they have successful lives by instilling in them confidence, trust,honesty, love...in which they will then know how to use as adults....instead we instil fear and place a heavy burden that they just cant hold as young adults...we have to share that burden with our children, we have to become closer with our kids so we know what goes on in their life and know when something is happening that we can prevent...fear can only lead to a disaster in the end...but with love and affection...so much more can be done...

i think this can only change once the community--each and every single household--makes the decision for change...stop the gossips .....Everyone is so worried about other peoples kids that they forget their own...just because you see a young afghan girl at a club, or out with a guy...does not mean its always promiscuous and sexual...when you teach your kids the right morals and values, they will know how to handle themselves with dignity and respect...give them that trust but you first have to instill it ...and its not through fear...that only works for short term.

This really is sad, and my heart goes out to all of her friends and family...
To PH,

Nice mouth--I haven't, or will not, curse like you have. Stop with this absurd "religion of peace" stuff. I know the propaganda--"Jihad" means a spiritual struggle, not violence, right? I have read the Koran AND history--Islam has had a bloody history from its inception.

Read the article again--Amin's friends are still using Islam to justify the murder! Where is this coming from?

I'll keep this simple: Does the Koran instruct its followers to kill non-believers? Yes or No? If you answer this honestly, you'll get my point.
PH

I swear you took every word out of my mouth as I read what you wrote. I was just talking about this to my co worker and it is so true about caring more about "THE FAMILY NAME" than caring about the future of their kids. They dont let them move out for school because of what people will say. Its just not fair but I know it will get better in time. Its more the old fashioned parents that think like this. I know if I ever have kids I will try my best to teach them whats right from wrong but at the same time let them make their own choices and hopefully they are good choices. Dating is really not a bad thing I mean how are you suppose to meet "THE ONE" if you dont date? A lot of parents dont think that you are actually getting to know the person they jump to conclusions and think sexual which is not right at all. The more you tell your kids not to do something the more they want to do it, but if you tell them the consequences and at the same time let them make their own decision they are more cautious and do more whats right then wrong....It bugs me a lot and I wish everyone else would understand it as well.....
Where are the fathers on this? Is this a direct result of their implicit consent?

I'm not understanding how they are protecting their daughters by not protecting them.

I'm already running thru scenarios that my daughter may face as she gets older and sadly, most of them involve me having to fuckup some dumbass boy who tries to 'own' her.

I swear I hope it never comes to that...that's not how I want our lives to end up
frank,
you illiterate, ignorant jerk, they didn't stay in their country because of the war. Them coming to America did not cause social confusion, society today is what cause you social confusion and what makes you an ignorant bastard. Go educate yourself a little bit and learn about people and have some respect. You're ignorant comment has nothing to do with a young girl being murdered, stay on topic you sad loser.
R.I.P. Homaira
P.S.
ditto my comment to Steve
and the QURAN does NOT say to kill non believers, learn how to read.
Ever since we heard that Ehsan Amin pleaded not guilty, using self-defense as his alibi, and knowing the flawed justice system of this country, that with money you can do anything; using Homaira's family background and degrading her character, he's using all these tactics to show the judge that he loved Homaira so much. He wants to win people's favor with his lies, gathering his family around him to get their support. But in reality, he came from Europe illegally, where he faced prior criminal charges, and his parents are in Afghanistan. He assumed a false identity in the US, and tried to convince everyone that he was a normal, charming person.

Unfortunately, Homaira fell into his trap because of her pure heart, not knowing what her destiny would be with that guy. Islam allows you to choose your partner. This is no crime.

Isn't it a shame that we all read the newspapers, whose sole purpose, in order to make money, is to play up the sensational aspects of any case?
To Steve from D.C,

Hi Steve... how are you? obviously lost and ignorant. The Koran does NOT say anything about killing the non-believers, nor ANYBODY ELSE. It actually says, if you kill one, its like killing the entire humanity. Islam is a very peaceful religion, the problem comes from the lost followers and how they don't understand the religion. Islam talks about tolerance and patience... and thats why we even tolerate people like you Steve. Islam is a COMPLETE religion, thats why its the FASTEST growing religion in the WORLD... does that say anything to you Steve? Obviously there are people who aren't reading the book upside down or with anger and hatred as they read the meaningful book. You have to be really stupid to say something negative about the Koran. The fastest growing religion in the world by all humanity.... especially scientists and scholars from around the world. That should say alot. I could sit here all day and tell you ACTUAL FACTS... and not stuff from other people's mouth as you have obviously heard about the Koran. But if I were you... which I'm glad I'm not... I would do more research and not read the koran in my sleep or from my social surrounding's mouths. Another thing that Koran teaches on top of the million other things... RESPECT FOR ALL FAITHS which obviously you don't have. Next time when you see someone doing something bad, and instead of jumping on their faith, you should focus on the indivual itself. Thats what the Koran has taught us muslims to do.... I am sure the bible, the torah, and all the other respected scriptures have said the same. Next time you open your mouth, pay attention to your own scripture and its prescription because it will turn you into a better human. All this hatred and negative thoughts from people like you has brought this world to this point. As you can see, we are at the verge of destruction of entire humanity, people like you don't help the situation, only make it worse.
This is directed to Frank..

Frank, I think you are being ignorant. This sort of obsession can happen in any culture or country. So stop commenting on subjects that is way out of your intellect and as it appears that you don't have the comprehension of human psychology. It sounds like you have not taken advantage of the educational system to benefit you as the crazy guy in the story. It strongly appears that you need to go back and attend an University and try to get another degree as it appears that the first time around did not benefited your intellect.

Peace,

Keep in mind:

Think before you open your mouth and make yourself sound stupiddddd
To Homaira:

agreed 100% and believe me this can be changed...as more and more afghans talk about it...as in the youth...the more everyone will realize that each and every single one of us sees the same problem..which means that we all have faced it at one point or another..some got out and others are still in...and thats when the support group amongst the young starts...in which you will all learn to talk to one another and eventually approach your parents with love nad respect and explain why their way of "discipline" is not working but pushing you guys away from your parents and making you have to lie to them becasue there is no other way...

there is always a way and that way comes with patience, love and trust...when a child reaches teenage hood and then adulthood...you have to treat them different in each stage of life....and once they hit adult hood, you have to learn to become friends with your kids rather then still hold the stick up high and have them fear you...because in a freindship...people open up and talk to one another..express their true feelings, things that happen to them..if a parent holds the friend card...i can assure you that child will never go in the wrong direction and actually will be saved from such tragedy's...but its not an easy way to be...and for afghans, most of them are from old school and their parents treated them a certain way so they dont know any better..its not their fault...thats why its up to that child to learn how to talk to the parent and win their trust over and give them the confidence that you will not put shame on their "family name"...you have to learn to tell your parents that mistakes will happen but that does not reflect on them...we have to make mistakes and learn from them..we have to learn to face difficulties and get back up again or else we will never become stronger as people and confident for that matter...its a daily process and if it doesnt work with your parents...you make sure that you in your head get the nitty and gritty stuff out before you settle down...take all the positives from the afghan culture and all the positives from the american culture...and make your life out of that...get rid of the negatives and dont let the gossip bother you...for as long as you have a clear conscience in what you do...it does not matter what others say or think...the gossip is never ending and you shouldnt stop your life for it...do good, dont talk shit on others, be honest with yourself and your conscience will be clear...resepect all regardless of what background or religion...and the rest will follow...we build our reputation by ourselves, the actions we take...we cant live off of our parents reputations..we have to build our own and as we do mistakes will be made and the ones who envy us will dwell on our mistkaes to try to make us look bad..but you just have to keep your head up high and keep going because if someone is talking shit and making stuff up...eventually the real truth comes out and he or she will look like a true ass...and they will loose their credibility with the people they passed on the wrong messages...

everyone does understand it...they just dont speak about it...1. because they think they are the only ones and 2. because they feel that there is nothing that can be done and they just have to live with it and accept it...and that my dear is what creates the grumpy gossipy afghans as they age...so the afghans who absolutely love to gossip and literally make up stories on other peoples daughters or sons or the whole fam...well those are the grumpy afghans who are angry at themselves and who ever for never being able to enjoy the good things in life and for placing themselves in this box just to please their parents without ever speaking up about it and gaining their trust...so if they didnt get to do it..nor should you...and if you do ...well apparently you must be "promiscuous"... those are the afghans that parents fear....which makes sense...but they are weak from within and you have to stay strong and confident...make sure you never become one of the grumpy ones with envy and jealousy in your heart that weakens your character...

To Imaan:
THANK YOU for laying it out the way you did!
I'm really distraught at how City Paper doesn't even moderate these comments. This isn't some second hand website. I thought this was supposed to be respectable local news site. I guess City Paper will never be The Washington Post.
In the early morning hours of July 4, 2008, a young woman fell victim to the hands of true evil. This beautiful woman, Homaira Rahman, had her life tragically cut short by her murderer, Ehsan Amin. This is a story that offers insight into the complexities of relationships, the challenges facing immigrant communities here in the U.S., and the horrors of violence. It is the story that should have been composed by the author of “Death by 91 Cuts,” in the Washington City Paper. Instead, it became an over generalized account of this very real tragedy and sensationalized by misinterpretations, inaccuracies, and stereotypes.

Up until her death, Homaira’s experiences were not particularly newsworthy. She was born in Virginia to Afghan Immigrants escaping the ravages of a war that consumed their country. She was an American, an Afghan, an Afghan-American. Like her generation, she was part of a hybrid culture – one that absorbed all aspects of both societies. She had to contend with these challenges, as thousands like her do on a daily basis. How does one assimilate when the need to preserve one’s sense of identity is so critical? It is a question that countless immigrants ask themselves each day. Culture, language, and belief systems all have a role in this preservation. While certain practices are innate and natural in one’s homeland, they may not necessarily adapt to the new environment. These are real issues. Ms. Valdez’s article suggests, “The real scandal behind the murder of Homaira Rahman: She had been dating.” With this wonderfully simple and ignorant statement, she glosses over a culture that perhaps uses differing (in this case from American/Western) standards for relationships. Perhaps, the belief in respect for family and a collective sense of responsibility to one’s community outweigh the ardent expression of individualism so prevalent in the western world. Perhaps this explains the challenges in attracting young professionals here to public service and benevolence work, etc. In the end, the message lost in Valdez’s simplistic and supposed think-piece, is the very real challenges many immigrants face.

Homaira was in a relationship and, yes, her family was aware, contrary to Valdez’s statement regarding our ignorance. A relationship that was consistent with her faith as a Muslim. Her belief system and family offering her guidance on such matters and both of which support her ability to choose (yes choose - an often overlooked dictum that is contrary to the vague and often incorrect interpretations of Islam that dominate so much commentary) of her own accord to choose a life partner. Were we aware of the magnitude and nature of the abuse and violence? No, we were not. But are we any different than the scores of white, black, yellow, brown women who suffer similar plights – who would rather endure the physical and emotional violence than expose these realities to their friends and family? Is this really an “Afghan” scandal? Was her inability to express her reality the nature of a “backward” culture that oppresses their women? Or was she tragically no more unique than so many other women here in the U.S., or other parts of the world that suffer abuse. Ms. Valdez could have used Homaira’s story as a study to reinforce a real problem that exists. Despite all of our achievements as individuals, as a country, and as a global power there is still much to do. Can we say we have eliminated racism? Have we broken the cycle of domestic violence for women; is it no longer an issue here domestically? Are women and other minorities still suffering from the “glass ceiling” syndrome?

No, Ms. Valdez did not spend time on these issues. She carefully arranged her interpretations of what others said, and oversimplified very complex problems. Homaira was the victim of abuse; she was murdered by a man who has no sense of moral sensibility. Her parents and her family, like many other surviving relatives, live with the inevitable sense of guilt. What could we have done to prevent this? It is a question no one is prepared to answer because it cannot be answered. Homaira was an individual and despite an overwhelming support network, she was still -- and unfortunately -- helpless. The real “scandal” here is that she was NOT unique. Walk into any domestic abuse shelter, and listen to the stories. Homaira’s experience will absorb into the mosaic of so many other injustices that continue on a daily basis.

Ms. Valdez did not spend time on this because it is easier to make this a cultural issue or religious issue. It is a convenient and facile attempt to explain a multi-faceted problem.

No human being, whether a follower of Abrahamic traditions, eastern religions, or even atheist, is embodied with the right to inflict harm on another. No man is empowered with this right over woman, and no faith that is accurately interpreted advocates this. This is not a story about Afghan American Culture or Islamic tradition. It is, however, about an injustice. Why must so many women, both in our backyard and overseas live in fear?

It is also about Homaira. She was loved by many, and whose loss will be felt by many. She was beautiful in every way – with a radiant smile that brightened the day of all who encountered it. She was a selfless person, always giving more of her kind nature than she ever received. She was a talented young professional with a full life ahead of her. She was loved by friends and family alike and she always saw the very best in people. The real scandal, Ms. Valdez and the editors of the Washington City Paper, was her murder, and that we as an American community no longer benefit from her gracious presence.
The tone of the story implies that there's something wrong and "different" about the Afgan community's culture. On the other hand, as her aunt was trying to point out she got into trouble when she went outside the rules.

The story mentions the "expectations" of American culture. Expectations? I thought that we had freedom here. We all don't live the way popular culture is portrayed in the US media. Is sexual immorality and promiscuity really that valuable? Is our materialism, which this poor woman emulated, really that important? And, if a girl (or even a guy for that matter) has a "bad" reputation it often DOES impact the family as a whole in America no matter how we might like to fantasize about life here.

What's wrong with developing relationships in public settings? It used to be that way here. There were a lot of marriages in the US during WWII that were based on little more than a notion that you might like someone. Sometimes the time spent apart, often years, only intensified the feeling. Statistics indicate that a lot of those marriages ended up doing pretty well, epecially by today's divorce standards.

Think about the problems in the city. Think about the problems in the world. If your life revolves around who you are dating and who you are having sex with, that's pretty sad all by itself.
Can't we just leave this alone? This was domestic violence. Ms. Valdez did a horrible job in protraying that. Had she told the real story there would not have been much buzz which is exactly what she wanted.
Domestic violence happens everywhere, in every culture, in every religion.
Homaria was an amazing person with a heart of gold. Let's let her rest and peace. Culture and religion had nothing to do with her death. I don't know why Ms. Valdez insists that it did.
It is in my opinion that no individual has the god given right to take the life of another person. Everyone shold be able to live the life of their choice regardless of thei ethnic background.
I am astonished and disturbed by the amount of disrespect and hatred that certain anti-Islamic bigots have posted here. You people read this and all that you can think of is blaming it on culture? Not only was this article poorly presented and written by the writer, but it subsequently produced responses filled with racism and prejudice.

@ FRANK:

People who stereotype typically like to make generalizations about another group of people, but when it comes to their own group, they will not look at the culture, religious background, race, etc. You read about this horrible murder, for example, but then you place the blame on the culture. "oh that happened because it's a backwards culture." But when someone from your own group commits murder, you will blame it on situational factors. You won't blame the culture. Instead you'll say, "oh that happened because the man was crazy."

@ Steve in DC

What about the Amish school shooting in 2006? What about the Church shooting in Missouri? What about the Oklahoma City bombing? What about Columbine, Virginia Tech, and the Omaha mall shooting? How come they are not called terrorists, and how come their religions are not blamed for their actions?

What about the so-called Catholic priests who molest children because "God told them to"? What about the man in the White House who believes God told him to "invade Iraq"? How is that not religious extremism?

You are ignorant about Islam and you obviously have no interest in establishing peaceful relations with Muslims. You have so much hatred in your heart that you're more upset that this article didn't "blame Islam" than you are about what really happened.

What about the American parents who drown their children or throw them off of bridges? You wouldn't blame American culture for that right? But if you ever hear about Muslims doing that, then you will go straight to the religion and blame it. Forget the fact that stoning and honor killings are regional practices -- remember what happened to Dua Khalil? She wasn't stoned by Muslims, she was stoned by Yazidis. Forget the fact that Muslims get beaten and killed in the streets of India, right? You just want to cherry pick the stories where Muslims are the enemies because that's how your mind works: it's "us versus THEM."

You asked: "Does the Koran instruct its followers to kill non-believers?"

No, the Qur'an DOES NOT. You won't find a single verse that says that. The Qur'an says that if you kill an innocent human being, then it is as if you have killed all of humanity.

Learn something about how promoting stereotypes and misconceptions only leads to separation. You place the blame on Islam because you don't have an open mind. When people don't want to consider all of the factors, they point fingers and blame it on one thing. You don't understand the complexities of this tragic incident, you don't know the people, you don't know the family, and you obviously don't know the religion or the culture, so why don't you do yourself a favor and stop disrespecting sister Homaira Rahman with your hate speech.

Learn to show RESPECT. Hatred and prejudice will get you NO WHERE in this world. Remember that.

May she rest in peace and may Allah bless her soul with His Everlasting Love. Ameen.
While it is sad that a young lady was murdered, still more tragic is the persistence of the human species on hanging on to culture.

Culture is a vulgar appendage that drags souls down. The weakness and fear in Amin's soul is universal, neither Afghan or American, and the strength and tragedy in Rahman's death is beyond the bounds of culture.

It's time we evolved past this labeling nonsense and learned to see the truth and help heal senseless failures like this
I want to thank the family for putting their daughter story out.The Rahman's story will inspire women who are in abusive relationships get out before it's to late.
It's interesting to see pretty much every muslim on here use the word "ignorant", like they got it ALL figured out. How fucking predictable and cliched!!! I come from a third world muslim country, and all we were taught 10 years in the schools was, how Islam is the ONLY way, and everyone else is wrong!!!! Even "hints" of killing them if you have to. The same is being taught here at ISA (Islamic Saudi Acedamy), at Mt. Vernon. Basically brainwashing children to "believe" what THEY think is the "truth"; where "truth" = "Islam".
I stopped being a muslim way before Sept 11. I leanred that a good "majority" of them are hypocrites and liars!!!! They'll say what you wanna hear, but in reality they ALWAYS have other motives. The combination of both religion and the backwards culture is definately in mortal contrast with the laws of nature. This world is gonna end, purely because of the three dominant RELIGIONS!!!!
"I stopped being a muslim way before Sept 11....."

Religion: You are pathetic, sad, and a disgrace to humanity. Reading this comment made me sick. You have no God, no morals, and no respect for yourself. Anything that comes out of your mouth is garbage.
"You are pathetic, sad, and a disgrace to humanity."
So, the entire "humanity" must be composed of muslims huh? That's a typical muslim philosophy.

"You have no God"
I never said I don't believe in God. I just "choose" not to believe in organized religions.

"no morals, and no respect for yourself"
Wow, I didn't know you can't have "morals" and "self respect" if you're not a muslim!?!? I better re-think my choices here huh?

"Anything that comes out of your mouth is garbage. Reading this comment made me sick."
You MUST be a muslim.
Very,Very Sad!
Insane jealousy and rage fueled partially from Amin's cultural upbringing resulting in the violent tragic and brutal death of a young woman. 91 stab wounds and physical blows to her show how insane Amin was at the time of the crime. All the background analysis and cultural excuses cannot justify it!
There was no love here.
This man is a crazed animal and should be treated as such!
It reminds me of that animal that killed those 5 people in Potomac, Maryland in 1994. His boss, 3 sisters and their father.
He was from Brazil and had a violent upbringing on the streets there, comes here and brutally murders 5 people because he didn't like the way someone looked at him.
These murderers are mutated humans that come here to this country damaged.
I fear for my two daughters every day.
It's not bad enough that we have homegrown psychopathic sociopaths but a high percentage of foreing cultural psychopaths that we are somehow supposed to understand and forgive for their barbaric cultural behavior.
The old excuse..."we are a 4,000 yr old 'culture'". Well, we Americans sure hope we won't be acting that way in 4,000yrs.

I say baloney! Give them quick and sure justice. The sooner they are off the planet the better.l

Watch your back. It is a price we have to pay for cultural diversity.
To Homaira's family.
I am so very sad for your suffering and the tragic death of your loved daughter, Homaira. I am sorry if my remarks seem callous and harsh.
It is hard to read how some people chastize your daughter for dressing the way she did or dating at all. They seem so unforgiving and lacking in understanding how it is for a young woman such as Homaira.
Homaira was an American born girl who grew up in two worlds. One she saw the future in. The other she saw the past. Time would have given her he wisdom to know the good from both. She was robbed of that chance - to find out for herself. God bless her soul. The world is a lesser place without her.
I am a mother of two teenage daughters 17 and 18. I cannot imagine having to bear such a horrific loss. My prayers go out to you. May God have mercy on the murderer.
I am sure Homaira is in a better place and I can see that her short time here affected everyone she met in a positive way. She reminds me of one of my daughters.
It is hard for me and others to understand these things and why there must be such suffering.
Please forgive me if I seemed to be blaming your culture, I am not, it is just impossible for me read of this tragidy and for me to be able to make sense of it.
Why do some people meet such fate? Why do their families and loved ones have to suffer?
Why couldn't Homaira live a long, happy, and meaningful life.
Why was she taken from us at such an early and tender age?
Why are there people like Amin who do such terrible deeds? I am sure his family
wonders how this could happen, too. I pray for them as well.
Why? Why? Why?
As someone who knew Homaria personally, it is just so heartbreaking that the person who waved enthusiastically to you from across the walk every day on campus and embraced you as a friend would meet such a terrible end. I was hoping that I would hear from her again some day, but not like this. But because somebody was so selfish that they thought torturing someone until they died was preferable to losing their social standing is capital murder in my book. I don't care about culture! The bottom line is she's gone and I'll never get to have her back!
To Religion:

It is quite obvious that some "FOLLOWERS" of Islam are the problem... not Islam itself. Maybe if you self taught yourself the Koran... you wouldn't think so bad of Islam itself. Your mind was polluted by major extremists and angered followers of Islam and therefore the outcome for you was to take the easy way out and not be a muslim. That is a typical thing to do when you are a weak soul. Don't blame the RELIGION for your outcome... blame the followers. Here we are with the fastest growing religion in the world being Islam...and the few muslims that turn against their born religion because of the wrong followers.... Listen Religion..... you are obviously the worst follower. Instead of making a difference and showing them the right way and pointing out that islam DOES NOT teach what they are preaching..... you just turn against the religion. That is so sad. And by the way.... not all Islamic institutions, mosques, learing centers, etc.... teach what you have heard.... there are plenty of them that teach you the actual truth of Islam... just like its suppose to be taught. And about your stereotype comment on how muslims use the word "ignorant" towards the non believers....

Ignorant: "Destitute of knowledge or education.... lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified."

Have you ever thought that thats how we muslims feels when we hear judgemental comments or stereotypes towards us. Thats the perfect word of feeling when we use it.... not just a word that gets thrown around without meaning. AMEEN.
I dont't see how somebody could kill another person. It doesnt matter what culture you are things like this happen all the time all around the world.
In readibng this article, I comes to me that different cultures have differents stands in the relationship area. Rahman was in love with someone that she thought loved her but she had to keep her relationship a secret from her family and some of her friends. I find it bizzare also that she was a fool for not telling her parents about the events that led up to her getting murdered. Sometimes keeping secrets from people gets you no where.

Furthermore, there were agruements amoungst the people about the fact that she did keep the secrets from her parents.Some believed that she deserved what she got because she abandoned the Afghan dating principles. Other people believe that after the dynamic event accured, the community changed for the better and it allowed people to date away from there families morals. As her friends said she would say, “Live each day to the fullest, for tomorrow may never come.”

Other than that, the memorial that they had at George Mason was nice of her friends and family. It allowed other people to know how important she was, and told about her deeds, acheivements, and also about her outgoing personality.
His friend sounds like a douchbag, what if she didnt wanna be with him anymore!>..I'm sure she had her reasons for dumping the scumbag. The fact that he actually did kill her...91 stabs tells you enough about that son of a bitch.

Its her personal choice who she decides to be with, if it doesnt wotk out it doesnt..you move on.

I hate Afghans that have their heads buried under sand.
I believe that she should have told her parents what was going on. If her parents loved her like they say, then they would have forgiven her and helped her out. She probally would still be alive today. Sometimes people get themselves into a problem that they cannot get themselves out. We all need a little help sometimes and occasionally we get scared to ask.
my oppion on this is that anger and jealousy get to people to much which lead to violence or even killing, people should just enjoy life and if someone wants you out of their life then you should say no more and not bother them anymore.
I belive that no one should be treated like this even if your from a diffreent culture. THis is America... You cant just kill somone just because they did somthing that upsets you or you disagree with... THATS CRAZY!!!
HEllo!!!
It is very sad to hear 91 cuts.. I dont believe this.
But what happend to the boy.. Is he in Jail??
MAy god bless them
To you Franks and Stevens out there:

SO many AMERICAN NON-MUSLIM women are murdered, beaten, and threatened each day. What do you have to say for that? This happens right here, in the United States of America! Do you blame Afghanistan or Islam for a case of domestic violence that happens in HICKTOWN?
This is not a story of a Muslim woman or an Afghan woman, this is the story of a HUMAN BEING, who could be of any background. This could be the story of YOUR mother, sister, grandma, daughter!

Unfortunately for you, America, being a super-power, has the highest rate of teenage UNWANTED pregnancies, AIDS and other STDS, HIGHEST divorce rate, and God knows what else!!! IF this is not backwards, then I dont know what is!!! Afghanistan may be ancient, Islam may have ancient rules, but what do you have to say for all that AMERICA faces on a daily basis????? this is supposed to be a fast-paced 'FORWARD' country...then why so many problems???

SO EDUCATE yourselves first before making stupid remarks! Perhaps, get a copy of the Quran and read it and will find out things you would have never thought! Even the American Constitution has borrowed things from the Quran and the American law is based on things IN THE QURAN! Just get EDUCATED and you will know!
What happened to Homaira is very unfortunate and we all must learn a lesson from it. She was an amazing person.

I want to point out just one thing that religion and culture aren't the same things. While religion encourages people to live in peace and calls for equality, it's the culture that shapes our lives. What happened to Homaira had nothing to do with religion....it was culture. Now, I am not saying that murder is acceptable in Afghan culture. No, absolutely not. The events that lead to this are somehow because of our culture. For example, the reason why she never talked to her parents about this guy is partially because of our culture....the reason why all of this was hidden is because of culture...the reason why this could have been prevented but wasn't is because of our culture....Our religions teaches us that adultery and sex before marriage is a sin; however, it is our culture that says that women should not be dating or have any intimate relationships with men. In some families even friendship with the opposite sex is not allowed. This varies from family to family. Again, this is not true for all Afghans. There are liberals and conservatives views on things like dating in every culture . For some families dating is acceptable, for some families it never will be. In every family the father is protective of his daughters and it stand true not only for Afghans.
We Afghans left our country because of war. We came here to raised our children, to give them opportunity to go to school, and to let them have what many of us never had- a peaceful country to grow up in. Many of us left everything behind and started from scratch. Criticizing our entire community, culture, and religion for what one single man did is not fair.
May you rest in peace Homy.
To Frank,

Frank, I have two words for you !!!! FUCK YOURSELF !!!!
Frank,
Using "social confusion" as an excuse to spread hatred is just hiding prejudicism. Many women have been facing this, and it isn't "social confusion" it is gender-equality that has caused this. This exist in every relationship in EVERY culture... one goes out with friends, the other calls or gets insecure... they fight. Mix alcohol with it... there you have it! It just happens that she is Afghan-American and Muslim. She is not the first and I am sure she won't be the last Afghan-American Muslim that dated, went clubbing or dated a a guy that drinks... It is just another murder in an American society. I am sure her Afghan-Muslim parents cry the same tears for her child that Mother Mary cried for her son, or a Christian American mother would cry for her daughter. We all return home to that One God. Practice Peace, not hatred.
Ms. Valdez is a dumb bitch that needs to get her facts corrected... speak the truth dont pull crap outta your ass
plz well u give me ahsan fashionalble speeling name
Frank ur a racist twit go back to your country? Seriously? Wth does her culture and where she's from have to do with anything? Why can't we just say a sick human being did a sick thing to a girl that didn't deserve it regardless of her culture, race, religion. It's ignorant creeps like you that people should worry about. A Caucasian woman killed her twins by drowning and joking them, poisoning her 3rd daughter other "white American" women have drowned their kids is it safe to blame ALL AMERICANS? Or people with white skin? No, because that would make you an idiot. behavior and actions are based on an individual NOT their religion or country they came from. Go read a book and educate yourself God willing you'll be able to use the 6 brain cells you have next time
You decide to post a comment with such bs content.

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